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When a high school reunion brings together a group of female friends, they use the night to complete their unfinished and outdated high school bucket list before they part ways again.
kcguru: Another thought. If it's an ensemble story you want to tell (versus focusing on one main character) than the bucket lists can't be all about doing the same thing.? Ensemble plots work best when they involve stories told in counterpoint, that is, with complementary and contrasting story threaRead more
kcguru:
Another thought. If it’s an ensemble story you want to tell (versus focusing on one main character) than the bucket lists can’t be all about doing the same thing.? Ensemble plots work best when they involve stories told in counterpoint, that is, with complementary and contrasting story threads playing off each other and? oriented around one central theme.
One too-obvious story thread is about a character who takes a risk or breaks a rule she didn’t have the guts to take as a teen.? Okay, but that would be more effectively told if played against a story thread about a character who had the guts to take all kinds of risks, break all the rules in high school — and now she wants to make amends for the damage her reckless behavior caused.
fwiw
See lessA crisis manager gets recruited by the vigilante crew he idolizes to expose how the family business he is paid to protect sells memories.
Alas, the logline buries the lead, the hook.? One has to read all the way to the last words to discover the interesting part of the premise, that the business is selling memories.Further,? a reader can only take the words of a logline at face value -- he can't read the writer's mind, what he intendeRead more
Alas, the logline buries the lead, the hook.? One has to read all the way to the last words to discover the interesting part of the premise, that the business is selling memories.
Further,? a reader can only take the words of a logline at face value — he can’t read the writer’s mind, what he intended to say; he can only read the words on the screen.? And the words on the screen don’t tell us what the protagonist’s objective goal is.? The logline tells us that he’s recruited, but it doesn’t say he accepts the offer or how he intends to go about achieving what the vigilantes want from him.
And that’s segues to another issue:? the vaguely defined goal is owned by the vigilante crew, not by the crisis manager.?? They’ve subcontracted their goal for him to fulfill. It is not sufficient that he admires them.? He must passionately WANT and NEED to undertake the job for personal reasons– he must have personal stakes.
fwiw
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See lessWhen a young high-school aged minority attends a nationwide diversity conference, he must learn to confront the racist incidents from his past in order to come to terms what life is like as a minority in this country and his own place in it.
Racial discrimination is a vexing social problem, but this logline seems to take a shotgun approach in attacking it. A logline for a movie plot should be a rifle, aiming one bullet (dramatic action) at a specific target, the bulls eye of one objective goal.? What one, specific action toward one specRead more
Racial discrimination is a vexing social problem, but this logline seems to take a shotgun approach in attacking it. A logline for a movie plot should be a rifle, aiming one bullet (dramatic action) at a specific target, the bulls eye of one objective goal.? What one, specific action toward one specific goal does the young man take to deal with one specific problem, here and NOW, in the PRESENT TENSE of the story world?
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