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  1. Posted: December 9, 2019In: Comedy

    When criminals mistake him for one of their own during a botched drug deal he?s observing, a nervous novelist, researching his latest book, goes undercover for the police to bring a notorious crime lord to justice.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on December 10, 2019 at 12:56 am

    Suggest the police spurn his help.? So, on his own initiative, he collects enough evidence to catch and convict the bad guys on his own,? Oh, and concurrently collects the research he needs to write his book.?A two-fer OG?? Hmm.? Something to think about.Except that if he's trying to juggle a dual ORead more

    Suggest the police spurn his help.? So, on his own initiative, he collects enough evidence to catch and convict the bad guys on his own,? Oh, and concurrently collects the research he needs to write his book.?

    A two-fer OG?? Hmm.? Something to think about.

    Except that if he’s trying to juggle a dual OG, then implicitly t must inevitably lead to a crisis, a dilemma where he can either get the bad guys or get the inside scoop for his book — but not both.

    FWIW.

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  2. Posted: December 8, 2019In: Comedy

    When his former ?friends? from his shameful prison past visit him and don?t leave, a family man sets about getting them all back into the dating game – which threatens his own marriage in the process.

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on December 9, 2019 at 9:13 pm

    I like this idea. I think you have a good collection of characters although, for an Alexander Payne style of thing, I'm not sure I would bother with the sheriff. This is just my personal preference. It's a bit cliche in this kinda thing and makes it feel a little cartoony or too comedic. This shouldRead more

    I like this idea.

    I think you have a good collection of characters although, for an Alexander Payne style of thing, I’m not sure I would bother with the sheriff. This is just my personal preference. It’s a bit cliche in this kinda thing and makes it feel a little cartoony or too comedic. This should be about them all looking forward without being able to look past their past. Maybe the only people who are actually really bothered about their criminal past are themselves and this is their internal journey?

    What I really wouldn’t want to see, is them turning back to crime at any point.

    What does the protagonist learn? What’s his arc? These three need to teach our protagonist (and potentially his wife too) something about love. I’m wondering if, thinking out loud, these three ex-cons all have different relationships that need fixing. Malkovich wants a girlfriend, Woods needs his relationship with his daughter fixing, and Liotta needs to reconcile with his wife? There’s a lot of life lessons there and, in my head, it’s more interesting that they’re all different aspects of love.

    The John Malkovich type – he’s brilliant with women… so what does our protagonist have to do?

    I wonder if the David Hyde Pierce character should actually be someone who our protagonist aspires to be rather than him wanting to be one of the guys. This gives our hero the “looking forward” perspective – the aspirational contrast to the blast from the past he gets from his prison buddies. As this is the B-Story for our protagonist, the Act II climax could be the discovery that his neighbour also has a hidden criminal past or something? Throwing stuff out there.

    Have you seen “Silver Linings Playbook”? I see this having some similarities with that film.

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  3. Posted: December 6, 2019In: Horror

    When wanted bank robbers and their hostages, are taken captive and chained together in a lonely cop’s basement, they learn he’s secretly a serial killer, and must work together to escape before becoming his next victim.

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on December 6, 2019 at 6:36 pm

    Sorry, but I have to agree with dpg on this one. I think there's something interesting in the "cop who's a serial killer" idea but this story is in desperate need of a single protagonist. You mention something character driven but you have the group working collectively as the hero - considering thiRead more

    Sorry, but I have to agree with dpg on this one. I think there’s something interesting in the “cop who’s a serial killer” idea but this story is in desperate need of a single protagonist. You mention something character driven but you have the group working collectively as the hero – considering this group contains criminals and their hostages I’d imagine some conflict here that would require one person to unite them – I want to know what his/her story is.

    Ultimately though, you need to figure out how to make it believable first. It could be that it totally works but it’s just not coming through in the logline. I’m not sure if it’s the story that is unbelievable or simply the logline doesn’t quite have the details needed.

    How does this cop get all these people in the basement?

    Maybe explore the “cop who’s a serial killer” idea in a different way?

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