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When an 8ft hairy black monster begins following him around and disrupting his life, a lonely divorcee must find a way to get rid of it before it controls his entire existence.
What are the stakes? I only ask because I am not sure what you mean by, "Controls his entire existence" Does this mean the monster is going to mind control the lead character and take over his body? In other words, what will the lead character lose if he does not get rid of the monster? However, besRead more
What are the stakes? I only ask because I am not sure what you mean by, “Controls his entire existence” Does this mean the monster is going to mind control the lead character and take over his body?
In other words, what will the lead character lose if he does not get rid of the monster?
However, besides that, I think this logline is pretty close and has a great hook.
See lessWhen a new film contest starts a group of egocentric childhood friends set out to make a movie, despite the fact that they know nothing about film making. But when the opportunity presents itself they are wiling to do whatever it takes to achieve their dreams.
Agreed with the above. In general, loglines are better when they focus on the plot. In this case, you seemed to describe the premise and setup instead of the major story beats.
Agreed with the above.
In general, loglines are better when they focus on the plot. In this case, you seemed to describe the premise and setup instead of the major story beats.
See lessThis romantic, sci-fi action fantasy is set in a medieval world where war is common and survival is a daily struggle. The young heroine, Betha must persevere to overcome beasts, barbarians, ice Vikings, mythical creatures, elves and savages throughout the kingdom who all want her head.
Agreed with all the above. I'll add that in most cases when you find yourself using many adjectives or genre descriptions in a logline, you know something is wrong.
Agreed with all the above.
I’ll add that in most cases when you find yourself using many adjectives or genre descriptions in a logline, you know something is wrong.
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