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  1. Posted: June 3, 2019In: Crime

    On the verge of taking his own life, a detective will have to get back on his feet to investigate the disappearance of his neglected daughter

    kpetrakis01 Logliner
    Added an answer on October 6, 2019 at 11:00 am

    What if he had been fired from his job, so no resources? Did the kidnapper send him a personal message - ie is her disappearance his fault from an old case? How old is his daughter?? Why is he suicidal - failed job, failed marriage? I think this can work with just more detail.   A washed up divRead more

    What if he had been fired from his job, so no resources? Did the kidnapper send him a personal message – ie is her disappearance his fault from an old case? How old is his daughter?? Why is he suicidal – failed job, failed marriage? I think this can work with just more detail.

     

    A washed up divorced detective is forced into retirement until he discovers his estranged 15 year old daughter is missing and the police have no clues.? Maybe? Needs a greater obstacle I think…

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  2. Posted: May 2, 2019In: Biography

    A social progressive born on the brink of twentieth century America struggles to form and maintain the ACLU throughout the World Wars while coming to terms with his own ethically dubious past

    kpetrakis01 Logliner
    Added an answer on October 6, 2019 at 10:45 am

    I love historical stories but this is what I need to know. So he's a 20th century American who creates the ACLU (had to look it up),? but struggles to maintain it because of his past? Because of supremists?? Because of ?? What stops the movement growing? What impact does it have?? What's his role -Read more

    I love historical stories but this is what I need to know.

    So he’s a 20th century American who creates the ACLU (had to look it up),? but struggles to maintain it because of his past? Because of supremists?? Because of ?? What stops the movement growing? What impact does it have?? What’s his role – is it him and his mates? A couple of lawyers? Is he white? what made him start this movement?

    I think some obstacles to the goal of creating the ACLU? would help align the story especially if it’s a specific person as opposed to the ACLU group as a whole.

    Sounds very interesting.

    So a 20th century American white lawyer?? creates the ACLU because? but struggles to maintain it because? racists, bullies, government, his reputation, betrayal??? All ideas-? I don’t know the story but if I know what he’s fighting against and who he is it tells me the conflict….

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  3. Posted: October 1, 2019In: Thriller

    When a bullied classmate turns up drowned, meek hall monitor must team up with their high school tormentor in order to catch the culprit.

    Best Answer
    Scott Danzig Samurai
    Added an answer on October 6, 2019 at 1:40 am

    I think the main thing missing from this is the relationship between the dead bullied school kid and the hall monitor, who is probably also a bullied school kid.? If you make them "best friends" as another comment suggests, or brothers maybe, then there's a reason for this hall monitor to risk his sRead more

    I think the main thing missing from this is the relationship between the dead bullied school kid and the hall monitor, who is probably also a bullied school kid.? If you make them “best friends” as another comment suggests, or brothers maybe, then there’s a reason for this hall monitor to risk his scrawny neck to put a stop to this!

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