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  1. Posted: August 24, 2019In: Fantasy

    When the mysterious knight who slaughtered his village?returns, a distrustful werewolf reluctantly teams with a rebellious human princess to track the knight down before he starts a war between humans and fantasy creatures.

    Best Answer
    Paul Clarke Samurai
    Added an answer on August 26, 2019 at 11:56 am

    I would go with: A distrustful werewolf must team up with a human princess to stop a vengeful knight from starting a war between humans and fantasy creatures.   The backstory as to what the knight did in the past is useful for the story, but not necessary in the logline. It would be better to iRead more

    I would go with:

    A distrustful werewolf must team up with a human princess to stop a vengeful knight from starting a war between humans and fantasy creatures.

     

    The backstory as to what the knight did in the past is useful for the story, but not necessary in the logline. It would be better to include why it is this werewolf and princess that can stop him, rather than giving the motivation. Given the stakes, backstory motivation isn’t required as part of the hook.

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  2. Posted: August 19, 2019In: Drama

    When the local mining company brings in external workers, the town of Hope apathetically slides towards its death. Slut-shamed 17-year-old schoolgirl, Tim, challenges the locals, the politicians,?and the mining billionaires into establishing a renewable energy business, in a frantic effort to save the town – and herself.

    Disruptive Logliner
    Added an answer on August 26, 2019 at 11:22 am

    Thank you again. You are both quite right. I will go back to the original premise and look at more of your examples of loglines.  

    Thank you again. You are both quite right. I will go back to the original premise and look at more of your examples of loglines.

     

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  3. Posted: August 24, 2019In: Horror

    An emotionally-detached Forest Ranger rescues a traumatized boy from an abandoned logging site and must fight for survival against prehistoric creatures that were awakened during deforestation.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai
    Added an answer on August 25, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    It is really good. It plants a nice seed in my head and I already see images flourishing. I suggest that the main event is the appearance of the prehistoric creatures: "When a deforestation wakes a pack of prehistoric carnivours, an emotionally-detached Forest Ranger must fight for survival while prRead more

    It is really good. It plants a nice seed in my head and I already see images flourishing.

    I suggest that the main event is the appearance of the prehistoric creatures:

    “When a deforestation wakes a pack of prehistoric carnivours, an emotionally-detached Forest Ranger must fight for survival while protecting a boy he has rescued.”

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