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  1. Posted: August 19, 2019In: Drama

    After she recovers photographs of her spouse raping her, a respected lawyer battles for justice to transform South Carolina?s viewpoints on marital rape.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai
    Added an answer on August 20, 2019 at 6:47 pm

    First of all, I second what dpg says: changing viewpoint is not what lawyers fight for. She needs to change the system. The law itself. I don't understand the inciting incident. Recover from whom? If her husband has raped her once, recovering the photographs does not sound like a strong enough incitRead more

    First of all, I second what dpg says: changing viewpoint is not what lawyers fight for. She needs to change the system. The law itself.

    I don’t understand the inciting incident. Recover from whom? If her husband has raped her once, recovering the photographs does not sound like a strong enough inciting incident. The rape itself sounds like an inciting incident.

    On the other hand, if her husband has been raping her for years, what is it that pushes her into defending herself now? Again, recovering some evidence is not an inciting incident, but part of the defense.

    Finally, why have the lawyer and the victim be the same person? Consider splitting them into two characters. I have a hunch that this would create a more interesting cast.

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  2. Posted: August 19, 2019In: Drama

    After her fifteen-year-old daughter commits suicide, an African American woman sets out to spread awareness surrounding mental health within her culture, where it?s an unspoken misconception.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai
    Added an answer on August 20, 2019 at 5:10 pm

    It's a captivating drama premise. It would help to have: A more clearly defined goal: does she fight for a law to pass? Does she have to convince a specific person in power? How do we know by the end of the film that she has succeeded or failed? More clearly defined antagonism. Can you personify theRead more

    It’s a captivating drama premise. It would help to have:

    A more clearly defined goal: does she fight for a law to pass? Does she have to convince a specific person in power? How do we know by the end of the film that she has succeeded or failed?

    More clearly defined antagonism. Can you personify the forces of antagonism? Who is the ambassador of her cultural traditions which resist the idea of mental health? Her minister? The mayor? Her father? A friend whose kid experiences psychosis?

    What is the actual traditional belief? Unspoken misconception is too vague. Do they believe that mentally ill people are possessed by demons or what?

    A hint of inner journey. Is she a person who grows or does she only help others grow? Whom?

    Does location setting play a part? I feel it somehow does. The question to ask is: where would a black woman’s voice be more easily and painfully choked upon speaking on such matters as mental health?

    Have a good writing!

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  3. Posted: August 17, 2019In: Comedy

    William Shakespeare awakens to find himself in London in 2019 with no memory of anything after 1616. Interpreting modern day situations from an Elizabethan perspective, he befriends three school children in an attempt to understand to the 21st century.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 19, 2019 at 9:46 pm

    Agree with ssk05032.? What are the stakes?? In comedy, there has to be stakes, too.? What is his real dramatic problem?? Shakespeare was a genius; surely if anyone could overcome the initial disorientation and come to understand and operate in modern times, it would be Shakespeare.? And why would heRead more

    Agree with ssk05032.? What are the stakes?? In comedy, there has to be stakes, too.? What is his real dramatic problem?? Shakespeare was a genius; surely if anyone could overcome the initial disorientation and come to understand and operate in modern times, it would be Shakespeare.? And why would he rely on kids and not adults to coach him? After the “fun and games” of Shakespeare’s initial disorientation wears off, what’s the story?

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