1. Posted: December 8, 2017In:

    A young woman in search of her parents finds herself in a fight for her life when an extraterrestrial warrior believe her to be a legendary weapon created to defend against the invader.

    dpg Singularity

    >>>her real abilities show until she?s older (when the story starts). Okay, that could work if the film story begins with the emergence of her extra-human abilities in puberty. (I have no idea what they are, but I assume you've got that figured out.) I suggest for the purpose of the loglineRead more

    >>>her real abilities show until she?s older (when the story starts).

    Okay, that could work if the film story begins with the emergence of her extra-human abilities in puberty. (I have no idea what they are, but I assume you’ve got that figured out.)

    I suggest for the purpose of the logline that having her looking for her parents be considered as a long term narrative arc for the franchise.? One that need not be included in a logline for the origin chapter.? It’s a goal she takes on later after she’s become fully aware of her powers, the implications and the cosmic stakes.? Just as Luke Skywalker doesn’t know who he really is and what is at stake for him in using the Force until the “Big Reveal” at the end of the second chapter of the original “Star Wars” franchise.

    The logline for the origin chapter of your saga should focus on her most immediate and urgent objective goal in that chapter.? Which is…?

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  2. Posted: November 27, 2017In:

    In a dystopian future, when reaching ‘working age,’ teenage rebel defys his destiny set by a leading class oppressors and will fight for living life his own way, even if it means death.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    JanCabal:>>>Does it have all other ingredients?The antagonist needs to be specific. "Leading class oppressors" is general. And by specific I mean there needs to be an alpha "class oppressor" who dominates and personifies the whole system.? As in "The Hunger Games".? Katniss Everdeen is fighRead more

    JanCabal:

    >>>Does it have all other ingredients?

    The antagonist needs to be specific. “Leading class oppressors” is general. And by specific I mean there needs to be an alpha “class oppressor” who dominates and personifies the whole system.? As in “The Hunger Games”.? Katniss Everdeen is fighting? the oppressive regime of Panam, but the specific person she is fighting against is President Snow.? He is the face of Panem; he is her nemesis. Who is the face of your “class oppressors”?? Who is your protagonist’s nemesis?

    LIkewise the protagonist’s objective goal needs to be made specific and concrete.? “Will fight for living life his own way” can mean anything and everything.? How does “his own way” translate into a distinct objective goal?

    >>>something I am passionate about

    If you are passionate enough to write the script, you are hooked on the premise.? Great!? Now the? challenge is to hook the rest of us on your premise so that we will want to read the script, see the film.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: November 9, 2017In:

    When an alien hunts a woman, she must stop the alien and save the ones captured by him.

    Best Answer
    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Agreed with Craig and Richiev, worth noting that a story should be described within a given time frame - a starting point (inciting incident) and end point (goal). By writing "...an alien hunts a woman..." you're not describing a single incident or point in time rather a period of time - how long haRead more

    Agreed with Craig and Richiev, worth noting that a story should be described within a given time frame – a starting point (inciting incident) and end point (goal). By writing “…an alien hunts a woman…” you’re not describing a single incident or point in time rather a period of time – how long has the hunt been going on for and how long will it go on for?

    Best to use more time specific rhetoric in a logline such as: After an alien attacks a woman…

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