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  1. Posted: November 2, 2017In: SciFi

    A bitter old man plays an advanced virtual reality game and conquers his fear of technology.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 4, 2017 at 11:34 am

    It seems like your looking for a good excuse -- aka: an inciting incident -- that plausibly and logically causes the geezer to play the game.? I would point out that there is a distinct difference between avoiding technology out of fear and avoiding it out of disinterest.? It's not necessarily a chaRead more

    It seems like your looking for a good excuse — aka: an inciting incident — that plausibly and logically causes the geezer to play the game.? I would point out that there is a distinct difference between avoiding technology out of fear and avoiding it out of disinterest.? It’s not necessarily a character flaw to eschew having a cell phone or a Facebook account.? ?It could be a character strength to be able to resist the time and money consuming seductions of modern technology.

    Also, who is the target movie audience?? If the protagonist is an old man, why would young people care to watch the movie?? And why would old people want to watch someone like them being forced to immerse himself in VR against his will?? Someone like them being shown to be an antiquated fool?? Why would old people want him to succeed in mastering VR?

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  2. Posted: October 26, 2017In: SciFi

    A biologically enhanced mother plans for more clone children, but she must make the world a place where they can survive, so she unleashes her ability to kill using only her brain, kills her brother.

    Best Answer
    RheaSolaris Logliner
    Added an answer on October 26, 2017 at 3:07 am

    Thank you Foxtrot25 for helping me out. I thought you might want to have a look at the story? It's not illegal to share link to the story on logline.it You're many who've helped me out. Mind me sharing a link here in comment/message? Rhea

    Thank you Foxtrot25 for helping me out.

    I thought you might want to have a look at the story? It’s not illegal to share link to the story on logline.it You’re many who’ve helped me out. Mind me sharing a link here in comment/message?

    Rhea

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  3. Posted: October 19, 2017In: SciFi

    A young aid worker learns humanity has been manipulated for aeons. He must learn control time to save humanity and the people he loves.

    moviefreak81 Samurai
    Added an answer on October 22, 2017 at 4:58 am

    This logline by MadMovieManiac on imdb about back to the future: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088763/plotsummary "After being accidentally sent 30 years into the past in a time-travelling DeLorean invented by the mad scientist Dr. Emmett Brown, Marty McFly has to find a way to return to the future aRead more

    This logline by MadMovieManiac on imdb about back to the future: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088763/plotsummary

    “After being accidentally sent 30 years into the past in a time-travelling DeLorean invented by the mad scientist Dr. Emmett Brown, Marty McFly has to find a way to return to the future and make his parents fall in love again to ensure his own existence.”

    Notice that it states the time-travelling DeLorean, states objectively what the character has to do (instead of vague “must learn how to control time”), and the stakes (he might cease to exist).
    I guess all the tips above boil down to be more specific about the description so the hook is more visible.

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