1. Posted: October 17, 2017In:

    Humans and Fae must overcome hatred and fear to survive the collision of their worlds.

    Richiev Singularity

    This is coming across more as a situation than a story. For instance if I said. "With racial tensions mounting, white and black people must put aside their prejudices if the country is to unite" That really isn't a story. The story would be when you personalize it. Bring it down to a couple characteRead more

    This is coming across more as a situation than a story.

    For instance if I said. “With racial tensions mounting, white and black people must put aside their prejudices if the country is to unite” That really isn’t a story. The story would be when you personalize it. Bring it down to a couple characters that the reader can connect with, then give those characters a specific goal.

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: October 10, 2017In:

    Three delinquent friends and a young woman who can see the dead help ghosts cross over. (Episodic Series)

    savinh0 Samurai

    I see that you posted a lot of loglines lately. Let me just tell you that I also focused on too much loglines at once a few months ago and simply couldn't get anything done in the end. I learned that you have to set priorities when you want to be successful in any kind of creative work. So, as Nir aRead more

    I see that you posted a lot of loglines lately. Let me just tell you that I also focused on too much loglines at once a few months ago and simply couldn’t get anything done in the end. I learned that you have to set priorities when you want to be successful in any kind of creative work.
    So, as Nir already posted, pick one or two logline ideas and focus on them. One step at a time, and you will see results coming in.
    Good luck!

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: October 9, 2017In:

    An engineer of peace have to lead war against the machines when the established, human safe heaven on mars gets threatened by the past.

    Best Answer
    Neer Shelter Singularity

    This strongly resembles The Terminator premise - this will be a tough sell. In any event, the details need clarification. What specific event pushes the MC to need to defeat the robots? Did they kill his mother, lover or friend? Did they land an invasion force on Mars? Whatever it is that made him hRead more

    This strongly resembles The Terminator premise – this will be a tough sell.

    In any event, the details need clarification. What specific event pushes the MC to need to defeat the robots? Did they kill his mother, lover or friend? Did they land an invasion force on Mars?
    Whatever it is that made him have to take action, it needs to be clearly described in the logline.

    The MC leading a war is too vague and unspecific. What does the MC want? Peace with the robots? To destroy them all? To change the source code in their central computer? Whatever it is he wants to do, or in other words, his goal also needs to be clearly described in the logline.

    See less
    • 0