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  1. Posted: August 7, 2017In: SciFi

    After being a result of a failed superhuman strength enhancing experimentation. A young boy must find a way to escape and run away from his oppressive family of assassins in order to achieve his dream of living like an ordinary human being.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on August 8, 2017 at 1:36 pm

    It reads very similar to many teens with powers stories. A teenage boy who tearfully cries: I never asked for this... has become somewhat of a trope. Why not shift the focus from the fact he is trying to fit in to a more specific major objective. Running away from his family doesn't seem specific enRead more

    It reads very similar to many teens with powers stories. A teenage boy who tearfully cries: I never asked for this… has become somewhat of a trope.

    Why not shift the focus from the fact he is trying to fit in to a more specific major objective. Running away from his family doesn’t seem specific enough as it can happen on an indefinite basis. If he had to kill them in order to survive or save other people’s lives, then you’d be describing an outer objective goal that he could pursue with in a finite time line.

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  2. Posted: August 4, 2017In: SciFi

    Thanks!

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on August 6, 2017 at 12:30 pm

    The different story elements don't work together in the one plot, mostly as a result of them lacking a cause and effect relationship.Break the story down before trying again so you can better understand the story.What is the first event that motivates the MC to take action? Is it him becoming a musiRead more

    The different story elements don’t work together in the one plot, mostly as a result of them lacking a cause and effect relationship.

    Break the story down before trying again so you can better understand the story.

    What is the first event that motivates the MC to take action?
    Is it him becoming a musician? Is it him being arrested? Is it him being sent back in time? Or is it him discovering that the girl is the key to his musical career?

    I think it’s the last one as it is the only thing that motivates him to take action, all the rest are planned events as part of his choices in life. Seeing as it’s the discovery, it’s the only event that needs to be described in the beginning, for example:
    After he discovers that a blind girl in the old west is responsible for his musical genius, a time traveling convict must teach her piano to secure his career before he is sent back to the future.

    My biggest concern with this concept is the lack of obstacle and cinematic action. Sure it’s harder to teach a blind person piano than a 20/20 person but it’s not impossible, and teaching piano is boring on screen – he doesn’t really do much else than sit and play.

    Are there any bad guys he can fight or something else he can do that would make his action more seductive for a camera?

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  3. Posted: July 24, 2017In: SciFi

    When she is targeted by a rival tech firm for software code in her head, a closed off data courier with a photographic memory must finish her latest delivery to survive. Only problem: For some reason, she can’t remember ever accepting the job.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 27, 2017 at 8:34 am

    Knightrider,I think there might be an opportunity to do a ?version 2.0 of the Johnny Mnemonic story, but I also think the core concept needs to be upgraded to reflect current technology. ?(IMHO: one reason the movie version of William Gibson's story didn't play well as a movie was because ?by the tiRead more

    Knightrider,

    I think there might be an opportunity to do a ?version 2.0 of the Johnny Mnemonic story, but I also think the core concept needs to be upgraded to reflect current technology. ?(IMHO: one reason the movie version of William Gibson’s story didn’t play well as a movie was because ?by the time the movie was made, technology had advanced such that it undermined the premise.)

    It seems to me that any new version must justify its premise by addressing the question: ?in the ?age of ?the Darknet, TOR, and 2048-bit key cryptography, why would fallible, vulnerable humans be used as mules to transmit mission critical data (for legal or illegal purposes) stored in their “wetware”?

    fwiw

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