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Following a near-death experience, a down to earth cop discovers a secret society of astral travelers are manipulating major events in the physical world and works to prevent an imminent attack he suspects they are planning.
It sounds like the inciting incident is his discovery of the secret society, not the car accident. As a result of discovering the secret society and their plan he has to stop them. Best to redraft the logline with that in mind - cause and effect.
It sounds like the inciting incident is his discovery of the secret society, not the car accident. As a result of discovering the secret society and their plan he has to stop them. Best to redraft the logline with that in mind – cause and effect.
See lessWhen a lost girl encounters a dictator obsessed with his personal safety she must sacrifice her own well-being to escape his regime.
Just an idea...... When an orphaned girl is abducted by an obsessed dictator's regime, she is forced to help conceal his location, while secretly plotting her escape.
Just an idea……
When an orphaned girl is abducted by an obsessed dictator’s regime, she is forced to help conceal his location, while secretly plotting her escape. See less
Vowlence- In the year 2050, matrimony’s perfect success rate is challenged when a “created” spouse falls for someone other than her creator and falls in love with having a choice.
While a clearly defined goal is appreciated, it seems you're on your way to a very interesting story already. This LogLine has irony and cost, but fails to define a specific audience. If I knew who this was being marketed too I may have a different view on it's relevance. Good luck and good writing!
While a clearly defined goal is appreciated, it seems you’re on your way to a very interesting story already.
This LogLine has irony and cost, but fails to define a specific audience. If I knew who this was being marketed too I may have a different view on it’s relevance.
Good luck and good writing!
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