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Spiritually gifted twins seek revenge against their evil cyborg uncle as they race to find fabled elemtental orbs.
Gene, you keep rewriting this yet miss something. Spiritual doesn't add much as an adjective to your protagonist. Give them something more. Is this their special powers? If so, what exactly are they? Spirit vs evil cyborg? My money is on cyborg to win. What did this uncle cyborg do to them? Then youRead more
Gene, you keep rewriting this yet miss something.
Spiritual doesn’t add much as an adjective to your protagonist. Give them something more. Is this their special powers? If so, what exactly are they?
Spirit vs evil cyborg? My money is on cyborg to win. What did this uncle cyborg do to them?
Then you throw in orbs for no clear reason. Do they need to orbs to defeat the cyborg? If so, mention that.
Focus this plot finer.
See lessPitted in a spiritual batle against their evil cyborg uncle and his dark, sinister master, two spiritually gifted twin seek solace as they fight to avenge thier mother’s murder and find fabled elemental orbs.
Agreed with Richiev and Nir, so many of these elements seem to be randomly placed into the story. Not saying it won't work on some level, but for this logline, it really is a mouthful to read. What about thise orbs are important?
Agreed with Richiev and Nir, so many of these elements seem to be randomly placed into the story. Not saying it won’t work on some level, but for this logline, it really is a mouthful to read.
What about thise orbs are important?
See lessWhen the evil Monster Wolf Fenris breaks free from his icy prison and escapes to Earth, the Silver Moon, an elite werewolf hunting squad must destroy him before Earth is cursed with the scourge of lycanthropy forever.
Who is the main character in this story?You describe an elite werewolf hunting squad, but who amongst them should the audience follow and develop empathy for?
Who is the main character in this story?
You describe an elite werewolf hunting squad, but who amongst them should the audience follow and develop empathy for?
See less