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  1. Posted: April 15, 2017In: SciFi

    When the only girl he’s ever known is taken away, a boy must escape the robot who bred him in order to find her.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on April 18, 2017 at 12:29 pm

    Agreed with the above the who is important as that's the antagonist - the chief force he'll be facing in his struggle to get her back. Also, there is a disconnect between the story elements. Why must he escape the robot (not sure what that means specifically but I think you intended for him to smuggRead more

    Agreed with the above the who is important as that’s the antagonist – the chief force he’ll be facing in his struggle to get her back.

    Also, there is a disconnect between the story elements. Why must he escape the robot (not sure what that means specifically but I think you intended for him to smuggle the robot out of a lab or something to that effect) after she is taken? How are these two things connected?

    His inciting incident is clear – the girl is taken.

    His goal is clear – get the girl.

    The problem lies in the cause and effect connection between his actions and the inciting incident, how does one logically lead him to do the other?

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  2. Posted: April 5, 2017In: SciFi

    A space explorer leads an expedition after believing to have discovered paradise which gradually descends into madness.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 5, 2017 at 11:46 pm

    The goal is obvious enough to me (although the wording may need a polish): ?he's Moses-in-outer-space leading his crew to ?a better world, to an alluring paradise.But is it the real deal, or only a mirage? ?Is the descent into madness the result of pursuing a delusion?I sense some interesting raw orRead more

    The goal is obvious enough to me (although the wording may need a polish): ?he’s Moses-in-outer-space leading his crew to ?a better world, to an alluring paradise.

    But is it the real deal, or only a mirage? ?Is the descent into madness the result of pursuing a delusion?

    I sense some interesting raw ore for a psycho-drama, but I think the concept needs refining.

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  3. Posted: March 30, 2017In: SciFi

    Thanks to a translator biochip, nobody has to speak the same language anymore. When the young CTO of the company responsible for this groundbreaking technology discovers their imminent firmware release has been hacked, she is against the clock to save everyone from bio warfare.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 31, 2017 at 3:40 am

    I like Adam Bernstr?m's idea.Played as?a comedy. ? Maybe the setup could be that the U.N. ?now uses digital translator technology. The staff of flesh-and-blood translators has been eliminated.Then a hacker turns the meeting of world leaders (at the U.N.) into a modern day Tower of Babel at the worstRead more

    I like Adam Bernstr?m’s idea.

    Played as?a comedy. ? Maybe the setup could be that the U.N. ?now uses digital translator technology. The staff of flesh-and-blood translators has been eliminated.

    Then a hacker turns the meeting of world leaders (at the U.N.) into a modern day Tower of Babel at the worst possible moment, in the middle of an international crisis that threatens to plunge the world into war.

    That’s a movie I would like to watch.

    fwiw

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