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  1. Posted: October 25, 2016In: SciFi

    Discovering his memories have been manipulated, a security analyst must use clues hidden by himself to retrieve his real memories and expose his employer’s secret control over society.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 27, 2016 at 4:53 am

    For me the hook of the story is a protagonist who must use clues he squirreled away in order to recover the rest of his memories (similar to "Memento" only different). ?I find that interesting. ?So you've succeed in getting provisional attention.Now:What's so special about the sinister secret that iRead more

    For me the hook of the story is a protagonist who must use clues he squirreled away in order to recover the rest of his memories (similar to “Memento” only different). ?I find that interesting. ?So you’ve succeed in getting provisional attention.

    Now:

    What’s so special about the sinister secret that it must be exposed? There must be a 1,001+ plots about someone hiding a sinister secret. ?What’s so special about this one? ?What makes it?so sinister that he’s must not only expose it but stop the consequences and/or implications — NOW — or else?

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  2. Posted: October 21, 2016In: SciFi

    When parts of his life, including memories of his late family, are erased, a black market memories dealer must retrieve his life backup file to restore his past.

    Nina Logliner
    Added an answer on October 23, 2016 at 2:01 pm

    I think the crux of this is the why. Why does he need to restore his past? What happens if he doesn't? This will give us the stakes which must be high.

    I think the crux of this is the why. Why does he need to restore his past? What happens if he doesn’t? This will give us the stakes which must be high.

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  3. Posted: October 22, 2016In: SciFi

    In 2050 L.A., a detective accused of murder must clear her name by catching the real suspect: a famous actress cloned from her DNA. MINORITY REPORT meets ORPHAN BLACK.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 23, 2016 at 6:02 am

    What's the hook of your story? Hollyweird glitter? ?Or cloning? ?I opt for the latter. ??I think your concept is strong enough to not need some pixie dust, some Hollyweird glitter. ?But if you insist, make the detective the prime suspect in the murder of a Hollyweird celebrity. ?Now you've got yourRead more

    What’s the hook of your story? Hollyweird glitter? ?Or cloning? ?I opt for the latter. ??

    I think your concept is strong enough to not need some pixie dust, some Hollyweird glitter. ?But if you insist, make the detective the prime suspect in the murder of a Hollyweird celebrity. ?Now you’ve got your glitter. And after all, shouldn’t she be accused of killing someone significant? ?(And you can still keep the actress clone as a suspect because she has a motive: eliminating a competitor, or she’s a jealous jilted lover. Whatever Hollyweird folks feud about.)

    I see you posted an almost identical logline for this story in March. ?I presume you’ve made a lot of headway with script since then. ?Best wishes for your writing.

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