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  1. Posted: July 17, 2016In: SciFi

    10yr old Ava likes to play with robots, but when a terrorist attack leaves her town devastated, Ava becomes determined to make her robot protect people and make everyone smile again.

    [Deleted User]
    Added an answer on July 21, 2016 at 7:08 am

    A robot obsessed young girl invents a new bot in an attempt to make her town feel safe again after a devastating terrorist attack. This has a goal, no character names which can get confusing, and is clear and concise.

    A robot obsessed young girl invents a new bot in an attempt to make her town feel safe again after a devastating terrorist attack.

    This has a goal, no character names which can get confusing, and is clear and concise.

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  2. Posted: July 18, 2016In: SciFi

    In search of her origins, a confused young woman learns her father may have been a Decorated War Vet, however not from earth, now she finds herself in a fight to survive against a relentless alien warrior and a greedy corporation after her unique DNA

    [Deleted User]
    Added an answer on July 20, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    It definitely needs to be shorter, although it is an interesting concept there is far too much in there for a concise logline. As for the concept itself it seems like a huge jump from digging around on ancestry.com to alien warriors after her. If she only found out now how would they know about herRead more

    It definitely needs to be shorter, although it is an interesting concept there is far too much in there for a concise logline.

    As for the concept itself it seems like a huge jump from digging around on ancestry.com to alien warriors after her. If she only found out now how would they know about her and why haven’t they come for her sooner? Just a thought to make the timeline a little clearer, otherwise really good job!

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  3. Posted: July 11, 2016In: SciFi

    When the atom bomb decimates Hiroshima, a diplomat from outer space must trammel humans’ development as a war species if his enraged federation is to reach a benign decision concerning human fate.

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on July 12, 2016 at 3:23 am

    "If it were a comedy, a parody, that can work" There are alternate reality stories, such as Amazon's "The Man in the High Castle". The fact that it does not adhere to history is what makes the story sci-fi; it is fiction, not entirely based on fact. "There?s a reason SciFi movies are set in far, farRead more

    “If it were a comedy, a parody, that can work”
    There are alternate reality stories, such as Amazon’s “The Man in the High Castle”. The fact that it does not adhere to history is what makes the story sci-fi; it is fiction, not entirely based on fact.
    “There?s a reason SciFi movies are set in far, far galaxies or in the distant future or distant past. ” As for this, there are plenty of stories that are set in the present day but with futuristic technology, or near future. ?I believe CBS’s cancelled series “Extant” was set close to present day. Such as superhero movies. We don’t have technology on par with Iron Man or even Cap’s shield.

    “When the atom bomb decimates Hiroshima, a diplomat from outer space must trammel humans? development as a war species if his enraged federation is to reach a benign decision concerning human fate.”

    What is the alien’s specific goal? What specifically does he do to reach it?
    And how does the A-bomb dropping lead to this goal being set? It needs to have a casual relationship. Such as, if the goal were to kill humans before they develop technology to attack the aliens, then it would make sense; the aliens see the humans’ rapidly developing technology and wish to stop them before they become a threat.

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