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  1. Posted: July 4, 2016In: SciFi

    When people in town start disappearing, a young orphan woman, searching for her parents is attacked by an alien, she discovers her father’s true origins may not be from earth.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 6, 2016 at 12:03 am

    And as Nir Shelter pointed out, there's a whole franchise genre dedicated to stories about characters with special powers. ?What makes hers so special? ?And what specifically must she learn to do with them?Or else. ?What will happen to her and her world if she fails?

    And as Nir Shelter pointed out, there’s a whole franchise genre dedicated to stories about characters with special powers. ?What makes hers so special? ?And what specifically must she learn to do with them?

    Or else. ?What will happen to her and her world if she fails?

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  2. Posted: July 2, 2016In: SciFi

    A soft-hearted young woman determined to find her birth parents stumbles on a deadly alien species that may hold the key to her origin.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on July 4, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    In the revised version of the logline the death of the stepfather is described as the inciting incident. However, I don't see how that would necessarily motivate her to do so, she knew that her biological parents are somewhere away from her before he died so why is it imperative she find her biologiRead more

    In the revised version of the logline the death of the stepfather is described as the inciting incident. However, I don’t see how that would necessarily motivate her to do so, she knew that her biological parents are somewhere away from her before he died so why is it imperative she find her biological parents now?

    If she is unable to take care of her self and needs a guardian, then what makes her think she can go on the journey to find her parents? The logic doesn’t add up in this instance. However, if she were to be young enough for the authorities to put her in foster care, and in order to avoid this she seeks out her biological parents then her motivation is clear.

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  3. Posted: July 3, 2016In: SciFi

    After losing her step father, a young women, now determined to find her birth parents is targeted by a deadly alien species, who turns out might just be family.

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on July 3, 2016 at 4:16 am

    "After losing her step father, a young women, now determined to find her birth parents is targeted by a deadly alien species, who turns out might just be family." -Why wouldn't she want to find her birth parents before? Did she not know? How does losing her step father cause her to look for her birtRead more

    “After losing her step father, a young women, now determined to find her birth parents is targeted by a deadly alien species, who turns out might just be family.”

    -Why wouldn’t she want to find her birth parents before? Did she not know? How does losing her step father cause her to look for her birth parents?
    And as dpg said, use the hook to it’s full advantage.

    Example:?When a dying alien claims to be related to her, a young woman searches his advanced ship to find clues?about the aliens who are her parents.?(~27 words)
    This of course leaves out the being targeted part. But that’s not the hook. The hook is that she is related to this species.

    So:
    -What is her goal? To find her real parents.
    -How does she go about doing this?
    You don’t say.
    Are her parents aliens? Is one parent human and the other alien?

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