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A family trapped between our universe and another fights to save a surviving daughter from a violent relationship; their only hope is the guilt-ridden scientist responsible for their ghost-like state.
In my demented way of thinking, one measure of a logline's effectiveness is its ability to generate an image in my mind of the situation it sets up.? And generate more images of potential events that might follow?from the plot the logline describes.? After all, film is a visual medium.Alas, I, for oRead more
In my demented way of thinking, one measure of a logline’s effectiveness is its ability to generate an image in my mind of the situation it sets up.? And generate more images of potential events that might follow?from the plot the logline describes.? After all, film is a visual medium.
Alas, I, for one, can’t get a visual fix?on the situation or the plot of this logline.? What does “trapped between our universe and another” and “ghost-like state” ?mean?? What’s the visual on that?
Also, the logline defines ?the parents objective goal as to? save their daughter from a violent relationship.? But there seems to be?a bigger elephant-in-the-room dramatic problem that logline completely ignores as far as an objective goal:? the parent trapped between two universes — and how do they get out of that predicament?
And if the parents?only hope is a guilt-ridden scientist — who is the protagonist?? The parents or the scientist?
What is this story really about?? What is the plot? That the parents must rescue?their child?? Or is it that?the scientist?must rescue the daughter??Or that the scientist must rescue the parents?? Or that the scientist must rescue both the parents and the child?
fwiw
See lessIn 2100 Hollywood, a detective falsely accused of murder must clear her name by tracking down the real suspect: a famous actress cloned from her younger self’s DNA. ORPHAN BLACK meets MINORITY REPORT.
Maybe it needs to be more clear that since the detective and the actress share the exact same DNA, any DNA found at the murder scene could be attributed to either person.? Although how you'd do that in a logline.... not sure. Just my 2 c worth.
Maybe it needs to be more clear that since the detective and the actress share the exact same DNA, any DNA found at the murder scene could be attributed to either person.? Although how you’d do that in a logline…. not sure.
Just my 2 c worth.
See lessIn an alternate Arabian fantasy world, when an ex-patriot assassin is forced by a corrupt Sheikh to kill a rival, he must choose between losing his fiance’s life, or killing an innocent man.
Why does it have to be set in an alternate Arabian fantasy world?? I? don't see anything special about the plot that requires it?? Why can't it take place in the real world?And as FFF noted, ?a logline about a difficult choice the protagonist faces comes down to an advertisement for one scene in a fRead more
Why does it have to be set in an alternate Arabian fantasy world?? I? don’t see anything special about the plot that requires it?? Why can’t it take place in the real world?
And as FFF noted, ?a logline about a difficult choice the protagonist faces comes down to an advertisement for one scene in a feature film rather than for the film in its totality.
And the ex-assassin is portrayed as a hapless. ?passive reactor:? he’s given 2 equally undesirable choices.? He’s being ordered to act out the sheikh’s plot.? What independent, defiant, ?proactive ?choice does he make to resolve the dilemma?? What?choice does he make?rather than?accept the choices??dictated to him by the sheikh?
?IOW:? what becomes his objective goal to thwart the sheikh’s objective goal?
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