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After surviving a brutal attack, Rio Madrid, a young Latina living in a small, Texas border town, discovers she is a direct descendant of Aztec gods and becomes the target of supernatural enemies who have been hunting down her bloodline, one by one, throughout time.
As Nir Shelter said, she seems more acted upon than acting. As a result of discovering her true? genealogy, what becomes her objective goal?? What must she do to fight back, to harness the potent but latent powers I presume? she has? (Otherwise why would she be the target for extermination?)
As Nir Shelter said, she seems more acted upon than acting.
As a result of discovering her true? genealogy, what becomes her objective goal?? What must she do to fight back, to harness the potent but latent powers I presume? she has? (Otherwise why would she be the target for extermination?)
See lessA young mechanic discovers the spaceship she stole from dry dock is capable of ending the civil war between organic and synthetic life forms, but first she must convince the on-board AI to choose a side.
I would drop the dry dock, where she stole the ship isn't important to the story. A Civil War is normally between the same sort of people. ?So make it just a war, less words, less confusion. Why she needs to convince the ship to could be explained a little now that you have room. ?I see nothing wronRead more
I would drop the dry dock, where she stole the ship isn’t important to the story.
A Civil War is normally between the same sort of people. ?So make it just a war, less words, less confusion.
Why she needs to convince the ship to could be explained a little now that you have room. ?I see nothing wrong with a story being based around a person trying to convince a machine to make a decision. ?A good argument can be a great story.
So edit and put the new version as a comment. Interested in seeing it.
See lessThe world’s fate rest on one man with zero combat skills, to save it he has to survive the police, the army and assassins from another dimension who kills without remorse.
Hi Itai, or ma nishma? Agreed with Richiev and DPG, but also to what end? What is the goal he must achieve before knowing, beyond a doubt, that the world is safe again? For example Austin Powers had to stop Dr Evil from erupting all volcanoes around the world, Captain Mandrake had to get the secretRead more
Hi Itai, or ma nishma?
Agreed with Richiev and DPG, but also to what end?
What is the goal he must achieve before knowing, beyond a doubt, that the world is safe again?
For example Austin Powers had to stop Dr Evil from erupting all volcanoes around the world, Captain Mandrake had to get the secret communications code from general Ripper to prevent an all out nuclear war. The equivalent in this concept needs to me written into the logline, otherwise it’s a generic save the world concept.
Perhaps he must close the worm-hole to the other dimension or something to that effect.
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