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  1. Posted: September 26, 2020In: SciFi

    REVISED: After WW III, a grieving journeyman electrician trapped in a secret underground AI lab, discovers two other survivors. Two arch enemies, both soliciting his help and holding the key to his escape, redemption and the future of humanity.

    oscuro escriba Penpusher
    Added an answer on September 26, 2020 at 5:20 pm

    Hola! definitivamente me siento más cómodo con el segundo logline. En el primero no me quedaba claro la rivalidad de los sobrevivientes, que se aclara un poco, en el segundo. Dudas: por qué es valiente? por qué está atrapado? por qué tienen el futuro de la humanidad? Si no hacen al logline , quitaríRead more

    Hola! definitivamente me siento más cómodo con el segundo logline. En el primero no me quedaba claro la rivalidad de los sobrevivientes, que se aclara un poco, en el segundo. Dudas: por qué es valiente? por qué está atrapado? por qué tienen el futuro de la humanidad? Si no hacen al logline , quitaría esas pistas. “Un hombre atrapado en un laboratorio sobrevive al Juicio Final; al tratar de salir descubre a otros dos sobrevivientes, enemigos entre sí. Deberá elegir en cual confiar, para salvar su vida.”

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  2. Posted: September 24, 2020In: SciFi

    Three interwined stories between a group of astronauts in space finding them race against time to find their way home to Earth.

    Adam Bernstr?m Samurai
    Added an answer on September 25, 2020 at 6:15 am

    This logline is a bit vague. Even if there's a group of characters there should be someone who's the main protagonist, and with astronauts, there'd be a chain of command. Someone should drive the plot forward more than the others, so write the logline from their perspective. Next, give them a clear,Read more

    This logline is a bit vague.

    Even if there’s a group of characters there should be someone who’s the main protagonist, and with astronauts, there’d be a chain of command. Someone should drive the plot forward more than the others, so write the logline from their perspective.

    Next, give them a clear, tangible goal, like be the first humans to travel to Planet X, (change to whatever fits) or on a rescue mission to get that one astronaut they left for dead on Mars. (Guess what movie I just re-watched.) They should have a goal/mission.

    Who, or what are trying to stop them from from achieving their goal/mission. I reckon this is “Something disastrous” but it would help if it’s more specific than that.

    Finally what are the stakes, what happens if they fail, and also if there’s a ticking clock, they have limited time to achieve their goal/mission before the disaster. For instance, they have to catch Matt Damon before the stripped down space capsule falls back down to Mars.

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  3. Posted: September 7, 2020In: SciFi

    When it’s scientifically proven that women can reproduce without men, a group of girls thinks of a plan to annihilate the male species for good.

    Sonja Penpusher
    Added an answer on September 7, 2020 at 10:56 pm

    Okay, one of those "why didn't I think of that?!" - love it!

    Okay, one of those “why didn’t I think of that?!” – love it!

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