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When a mission goes wrong a starship is stranded in the distant future. Lost in a chaotic realm the world weary captain and his inexperienced crew must form allegiances and negotiate deals with other species which will at times severely test their ethics and values.
I like this concept, I think there's a clear engine here for a variety of narratives. I'd love to see your characters introduced in that first line. It might allow you to tighten up the second line too. I think it'd be nice to have a clear understanding of what the stakes are in negotiation, is it sRead more
I like this concept, I think there’s a clear engine here for a variety of narratives. I’d love to see your characters introduced in that first line. It might allow you to tighten up the second line too. I think it’d be nice to have a clear understanding of what the stakes are in negotiation, is it survival? Or something more complex? Is it just their ethics and values that are tested?
See lessIn the future, AI is able to determine who has committed a crime, but when it appears to frame a rookie cop of murder, she must out smart a machine thinking 2 steps ahead to prove her innocence.
I'd really like a sense of this cop's inner arc. What does she need to learn in order to prevail at the end? Is there something, some fatal flaw that she needs to overcome or come to terms with, or some critical theme-statement-esque life lesson she's yet to learn that this particular journey will tRead more
I’d really like a sense of this cop’s inner arc. What does she need to learn in order to prevail at the end? Is there something, some fatal flaw that she needs to overcome or come to terms with, or some critical theme-statement-esque life lesson she’s yet to learn that this particular journey will teach her?
See lessHere’s a way you might be able to frame it:
When framed for a murder she didn’t commit, a rookie cop must [[insert arc here]] in order to prove her innocence and overcome the AI that framed her.
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If her antagonist is an AI, it sounds like you might be exploring the instinct/machine, or nature/industry dichotomy that films like Star Wars and the LOTR trilogy.
e.g. When framed for a murder she didn’t commit, a rookie cop must learn to trust her instincts in order to prove her innocence and overcome the AI that framed her.
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Or you might want her to think more like a machine:
e.g. When framed for a murder she didn’t commit, a rookie cop must become a better strategic thinker than the AI that framed her, in order to prove her innocence.
In the near future a young woman works for a corrupt committee imposing radical parental exams on couples to control population growth.
This might work better from the point of view of a couple who want to have a child more than anything in the worldNow the couple has to jump through the hoops of this corrupt committee, which stands in the way of them achieving their goal.So you would have a lead character (One of the couple) who haRead more
This might work better from the point of view of a couple who want to have a child more than anything in the world
Now the couple has to jump through the hoops of this corrupt committee, which stands in the way of them achieving their goal.
So you would have a lead character (One of the couple) who have a goal which means the world to them, and something standing in their way. (Although you might want to put a face to this committee)
And best of all the story would be personal because everyone could relate to it.
I say this because in your logline you have a lead character who has no goal, therefore there is no conflict. and without conflict, there is no story.
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