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A mysterious Dark Planet, a troubled Test Pilot lost at the far side of the Galaxy overcoming the vast obstacles to find his way home to his beloved daughter and wife.
Good point DPG. Once the stakes are made clear, the subsequent conflict will form a hook. Also, wouldn't it be an astronaut that gets stranded on a planet? A test pilot implies that he flew a jet within Earth's atmosphere, but being an astronaut means he flew to outer space. Lastly, wording and struRead more
Good point DPG. Once the stakes are made clear, the subsequent conflict will form a hook.
Also, wouldn’t it be an astronaut that gets stranded on a planet? A test pilot implies that he flew a jet within Earth’s atmosphere, but being an astronaut means he flew to outer space.
Lastly, wording and structure are very important in a logline. In this case, the first and second clauses are not connected. Perhaps change it around so his being stranded on the planet is clearly the inciting event. For example: After being stranded on a dark planet, a troubled astronaut must…
See lessUluru-Kata (Part Two) When a posthuman boy, trying to integrate into a tribe of pygmies, meets other humans like him, he decides to resume his voyage to the Promise Land with his robot father in order to avoid his species extinction.
My best guess is that this is an AI boy that's wandered the world, mingles randomly with this tribe, and, one of the pygmies, or their associates, happens to be other AI people.? That either includes his father or they help reunite him with his father.? The father explains the situation about the spRead more
My best guess is that this is an AI boy that’s wandered the world, mingles randomly with this tribe, and, one of the pygmies, or their associates, happens to be other AI people.? That either includes his father or they help reunite him with his father.? The father explains the situation about the species being in danger and urges him to come help save the day.
But I’m not sure of any of it.? I don’t think the pygmies are important though, based on what I think you meant.? Also, I agree with dpg that the term “posthuman” is not universal.? And the “father” of a robot is a confusing concept too.? It’s a robot father, so probably not a human robotics engineer.? Still not sure what to take on it.? Here’s my take on it:
When a wandering robot boy encounters others of his kind, he learns of their imminent extinction and must help them find a place called the “Promised Land”, where they believe they’ll be safe.
See lessWhen a Commander of the largest military force in the universe, telepathically thwarts an assassination attempt by an obstinately powerful female warrior. He tricks her into facing and ultimately destroying her evil mirror double. A double that’s the source of her own power.
That whole telepathic stuff sounds great for how the commander defeats the assassin warrior, but it doesn't belong in the logline.? It's written more like a synopsis, where you just say how the hero wins the day... the end.? What you want to do is explain the situation, and what the hero must figureRead more
That whole telepathic stuff sounds great for how the commander defeats the assassin warrior, but it doesn’t belong in the logline.? It’s written more like a synopsis, where you just say how the hero wins the day… the end.? What you want to do is explain the situation, and what the hero must figure out how to do.
After an attempted assassination of the Commander of the largest military force in the universe, he finds himself pitted against an obstinately powerful warrior and must find a way to defeat her.
Maybe that?
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