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Borrowed Time
Agreed with the above. This is interesting. The concept needs conflict, and simply avoiding the enforcers doesn't sound very enticing. More to the point, what is his goal? Keep avoiding them? Until when? What's the endpoint? What if he decides to actively stop the system of death? This way you put hRead more
Agreed with the above. This is interesting.
The concept needs conflict, and simply avoiding the enforcers doesn’t sound very enticing. More to the point, what is his goal? Keep avoiding them? Until when? What’s the endpoint?
What if he decides to actively stop the system of death? This way you put him on a path to clash with the big scary folk.
How about:
See lessAfter avoiding his demise in a world of predetermined deaths, a man must fight the system that dictates when people’s time is up.
A young boy must complete an ancient and deadly rite of passage to prevent being reincarnated into a dying world when his father returns
The bit about "his father returning" is the thing I don't follow, I think.? I'd try to include some hint of why his father returning is bad.? Also, this young boy... is not a young boy, necessarily, right?? He's a young boy's spirit following a premature death?? Seems like that needs to be defined bRead more
The bit about “his father returning” is the thing I don’t follow, I think.? I’d try to include some hint of why his father returning is bad.? Also, this young boy… is not a young boy, necessarily, right?? He’s a young boy’s spirit following a premature death?? Seems like that needs to be defined better too.? Also, a rite of passage being deadly doesn’t seem a concern when you’re in the afterlife already.? It’s possible the boy is somehow doing this rite of passage in the world of the living…? if that’s the case, I don’t understand the “preventing being reincarnated” bit.
See lessIn a dystopia where emotions are a disease and love is a capital crime, two co-workers struggle to hide their feelings for each other while plotting to escape.
this sounds very interesting! Where will they escape to? Is it just a country or a place or all of earth? Otherwise, def got my attention.
this sounds very interesting! Where will they escape to? Is it just a country or a place or all of earth? Otherwise, def got my attention.
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