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A detail obsessed game designer must finish his latest virtual reality game or risk losing his job, but as his game becomes more realistic he starts to lose his grip on reality.
Good input, good points by yqertz. If he's working in a software shop, he's one cog in a large wheel.? He only has access to and control over one limb of the app elephant.? These days VR games are so freakingly complex and code dense, no single person can grasp and manage it all.Also, the code warriRead more
Good input, good points by yqertz. If he’s working in a software shop, he’s one cog in a large wheel.? He only has access to and control over one limb of the app elephant.? These days VR games are so freakingly complex and code dense, no single person can grasp and manage it all.
Also, the code warriors I know seem to look at the GUI as just eye candy, there to validate that the code they are writing works? For them, the fun and games, the dopamine spike, the immersive experience is in writing the code.? That’s what they stare at for hours on end the code, not the GUI.
And general audiences are? more sophisticated these days. The prime target audience for this film, computer geeks, are super sophisticated, jaded and skeptical about all films where software development is core to the way the plot plays out.? Gone are the days when a movie can palm off a moment when a young kid looks at a GUI — a GUI! — and exclaims. “I know this.? It’s Unix.” (Jurassic Park, 1993).? Punchline:? if you look closely at the hardware in that scene, “Unix” is running on Apple hardware!
However, as yqwertz suggested,? the MC is a tester might work.
See less“Following the release of a popular drug that makes sleep obsolete, some people start committing crimes in waking-dreams known as ‘Recals’ and a Dream-Detective must determine the lucidity of each suspect while secretly investigating with his own recurring Recal.” (1 Hour TV Scifi/Drama Series) Updated Version.
gilligaj: Again, I like the core concept.? But while my prefrontal cortex is willing to suspend disbelief, my limbic system... not so much.? Not yet. The latter is hung up on what passes for "justice" in your story world.? As I illustrated by the analogy to DUI.? Now if that's the way you want to goRead more
gilligaj:
Again, I like the core concept.? But while my prefrontal cortex is willing to suspend disbelief, my limbic system… not so much.? Not yet. The latter is hung up on what passes for “justice” in your story world.? As I illustrated by the analogy to DUI.? Now if that’s the way you want to go, and if you can conjure up a scenario, an explanation that feels right for your story world , that the limbic system of the millions of viewers will buy into, more power to you.
A suggestion:? your pilot might want to include a utility character as skeptical as I am on the justice of it all. Deal with the issue up front, head on (via an argument with the protagonist) and, hence, defuse it.
fwiw
See lessWhen a terminal patient becomes immortal, she must uncover the secret that saved her life; but when she discovers she’s the target of a military conspiracy, she fights to?protect her unborn child.
I gather that you are trying to write a logline incorporating a Midpoint Reversal (MPR).Consider Karel's example of an MPR for the movie "Jaws" under "Our Formula":When the mangled body of a swimmer is found on the beach, the town sheriff must battle the mayor who wants to keep business as usual oveRead more
I gather that you are trying to write a logline incorporating a Midpoint Reversal (MPR).
Consider Karel’s example of an MPR for the movie “Jaws” under “Our Formula”:
When the mangled body of a swimmer is found on the beach, the town sheriff must battle the mayor who wants to keep business as usual over the 4th of July weekend; but when the sheriff?s own son is almost killed by a great white, he must show responsibility and venture into the ocean to kill the monster.
Notice that both the inciting incident for the initial action and the inciting incident for the MPR refer to the same plot problem😕 a shark chomping on people. The protagonist’s objective goal remains the same; what has changed is his means of attaining it.
However, in your logline, the inciting incident for the initial action refers to becoming immortal while the inciting issue for the MPR refer to a distinctly different plot problem, a military conspiracy, that motivates a distinctly different objective goal.? The logline seems to bait and switch plot goals.
I’m guessing the two are related, but I don’t know how, and a logline should never leave a reader guessing.? A logline should excite curiosity as to how the plot will play out, but it should not create confusion as to what the plot is about.
An MPR may change the means, but it usually doesn’t change the objective.? Since her dramatic problem entails solving a mystery, the standard plot m.o. is that protagonist doesn’t discover the full threat isn’t discovered until the end of Act 2.? In this case, the survival of her unborn child.
But the matter of the unborn child introduces a critical twist that seems to parachute into the plot out of nowhere.? Well, of course, it doesn’t.? So perhaps the logline might start off something like: ” When a pregnant woman is miraculously cured of terminal cancer (or whatever — be specific) only to discover she’s now immortal….”? Or “When a woman is miraculously cured of terminal cancer (or whatever) only to discover she is both pregnant and immortal… “
I’m just guessing, because I don’t know the sequence of events.? My takeaway is that the unborn child, in the role of the stakes character, might need to be planted earlier rather than later.
Hope this helps.
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