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  1. Posted: March 29, 2019In: SciFi

    As dimensional portals bring refugees from an another earth, a disillusioned border agent encounters his alternate-earth daughter and becomes torn between following orders, or protecting an alternate world from annihilation.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 30, 2019 at 9:39 am

    One other thought:? I suggest narrowing the focus of his objective goal in the logline to merely saving his daughter.? That has to be the most paramount goal in any parent's mind, right?? ?And it's good enough for plotting purposes.I like to view a plot as a poker game.? Initially, the protagonist oRead more

    One other thought:? I suggest narrowing the focus of his objective goal in the logline to merely saving his daughter.? That has to be the most paramount goal in any parent’s mind, right?? ?And it’s good enough for plotting purposes.

    I like to view a plot as a poker game.? Initially, the protagonist only has to put in a few chips [risk, effort)]to get into the game.? The major plot points are betting rounds, where he must see and raise, put more and more? and more chips into the pot [escalating risk, effort] to stay in the game.? Ultimately, he will have to push every chip into the pot.

    Transposing the poker analogy to your story, it could be that initially he thinks he can rescue his? daughter with a minimum? bet [risk and effort].? (And only his daughter:? not because he’s selfish but because he’s just one man; he doesn’t have the power, the ways and means, to rescue every one.)

    Only to discover he has to make bigger bets [risk, effort].? Finally, he realizes that the only way he can save his daughter is to push every chip into the pot [including his life] to incite a rebellion that liberates the others.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: March 27, 2019In: SciFi

    When the UK’s top entrepreneur kills his whole family then commits suicide, a washed-up cop, grieving widow and new age guru must team up to find out what’s causing this sudden epidemic of high profile bloody events.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 27, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    I? also like Richiev's take because it focuses on a specific protagonist.? The protagonist's actions are clearly motivated:? it's personal.? She has? very personal stakes in the case.? Whereas the original version just throws it out there that a trio MUST? investigate the problem.? Well, why MUST thRead more

    I? also like Richiev’s take because it focuses on a specific protagonist.? The protagonist’s actions are clearly motivated:? it’s personal.? She has? very personal stakes in the case.? Whereas the original version just throws it out there that a trio MUST? investigate the problem.? Well, why MUST they get involved?? Why would? 3 disparate characters team up? over a murder-suicide?? What’s their motivation?? What skin do they have in the game?

    And not only is it easier for an audience to get involved in the story through one person ‘s point of view rather than several, as mikepedley85 noted, but it is also often easier to sell the script.

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  3. Posted: March 25, 2019In: SciFi

    Ms. RAMBO and her female ET drinking buddy rescue PASSENGERS from starving evil ETs and then meets THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL (of 1951).

    Steve Logliner
    Added an answer on March 25, 2019 at 2:54 am

    Your statement:?When nations start nuking each other, a friendly ET disguised as human must prevent World War III or loose the only compatible planet left in the universe?My question:? When nations start nuking each other, isn't that too late for any ET to prevent WW3?I think the confusion comes myRead more

    Your statement:

    ?When nations start nuking each other, a friendly ET disguised as human must prevent World War III or loose the only compatible planet left in the universe?

    My question:? When nations start nuking each other, isn’t that too late for any ET to prevent WW3?

    I think the confusion comes my use of the word “STOP”; I should have used “PREVENT” instead.

    Thanks for your views, much appreciated.

    Steve

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