1. Posted: March 13, 2019In:

    In a survivalist?s bomb shelter following the nuclear apocalypse, An adolescent mechanic is prematurely woken from cryogenic hibernation by a childhood friend out of desperation. Over last sixty years, he has been trying to fix the bunkers only reusable chamber in solitude due to limited rations. In order to save himself and the remaining sleeping colony, he must not only perform a seemingly impossible repair that has stumped more qualified individuals for multiple lifetimes, but cope with the inevitable isolation following his aged-friend’s death in the process.

    Mike Pedley Singularity

    I like the idea of this friendship in the bomb shelter situation. It's great! But, as variable pointed out, this problem has stumped qualified individuals for multiple lifetimes... and he's simply a teenage mechanic. I feel like this is a stretch. Can there be a reason why it has to be this kid? OrRead more

    I like the idea of this friendship in the bomb shelter situation. It’s great! But, as variable pointed out, this problem has stumped qualified individuals for multiple lifetimes… and he’s simply a teenage mechanic. I feel like this is a stretch. Can there be a reason why it has to be this kid? Or this time? Maybe there’s something that they had to wait 60 years for? Why has his friend waited til now to wake him? Give us reasons why all these elements have to happen like this and again, as variable suggested, give us more conflict and this could be great.

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  2. Posted: March 4, 2019In:

    When humans war with each other in the Matrix, Neo emerges to help the Agents maintain his peace deal until a newer anomaly arises in the form of a man who is being influenced by fragments of Smith’s code. (The Matrix 4 Concept)

    Mike Pedley Singularity

    There appears to be two inciting incidents here, the start of the war between the humans and the arrival of this new anomaly.Who is the protagonist? What's their goal?This seems to be just a set up. What happens next?

    There appears to be two inciting incidents here, the start of the war between the humans and the arrival of this new anomaly.

    Who is the protagonist? What’s their goal?

    This seems to be just a set up. What happens next?

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  3. Posted: February 26, 2019In:

    A fledgling engineer must venture into space and repair their spaceship before it ceases to function.

    Robb Ross Samurai

    Along the lines of Mike, look to highlight the hook or irony. And, yes, the stakes in the logline should be more than the loss of the ship.I find the short logline formula only helps at the very first stage of fleshing out the idea. Try in the next take to paint more of the picture.Who does "their"Read more

    Along the lines of Mike, look to highlight the hook or irony. And, yes, the stakes in the logline should be more than the loss of the ship.

    I find the short logline formula only helps at the very first stage of fleshing out the idea. Try in the next take to paint more of the picture.

    Who does “their” refer to?

    Is this set in the present or future? Operating from Earth or another planet?

    Who or what is the antag?

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