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MY THIRD TRY: To stop a likely nuclear war among earthlings, a space alien whose race wants future control of an un-radiated planet, demands that all nukes be disassemble now or else NO electricity for a decade.
While I agree with the two reviews so far, this part is revealing and seems to be real story: >>In a nutshell, the ET takes her human female friend to her planet where she experiences culture clashes and battles. Is this most of Act II? >>The earthling helps save her ET friend?s world WhRead more
While I agree with the two reviews so far, this part is revealing and seems to be real story:
>>In a nutshell, the ET takes her human female friend to her planet where she experiences culture clashes and battles.
Is this most of Act II?
>>The earthling helps save her ET friend?s world
When does this happen? Save from what?
>> and now the ET helps to save the earth.
If most of the story is about the woman on the alien planet and this part is Act III, then it doesn’t need to go in the logline. It may even be the denouement in the script instead of Act III.
See lessFriendly ETs frequently rescue abducted humans from bad ETs that eat their prey. Now, they must stop humans from nuking the earth so the good ETs can have another living planet in their interstellar federation.
Why do these friendly ETs need another living planet in the interstellar federation? Is there any way to tell this story from the perspective of the humans? They're the one with the biggest journey to go on and the easiest ones for the audience to relate to. It also creates the most dramatic incitinRead more
Why do these friendly ETs need another living planet in the interstellar federation? Is there any way to tell this story from the perspective of the humans? They’re the one with the biggest journey to go on and the easiest ones for the audience to relate to. It also creates the most dramatic inciting incident – mankind finding out they are not alone in the universe.
How do these aliens plan on stopping humans nuking the earth? I’m struggling to see what’s going to happen other than people sitting around discussing things.
Personally, I think the whole friendly aliens saving humans from bad ones is great and I think that could be used more. There needs to be more conflict and more action going on.
You need a main character – alien or human – who the audience sees this story from the perspective of. Without that it’s very difficult to see anything other than nameless, faceless characters. There’s no heart to the story and that’s really important.
There’s definitely something in here so keep going. Ideally though, if you could put new versions of the logline within this post. It makes it easier for everyone to follow its evolution.
See lessA space alien and her Paiute Indian female friend cause a day that Las Vegas stood still, thus alarming the earth leaders into disassembling all nuclear weapons.
I think the majority of my points from your alternative version of this logline still stand. This one makes less sense though. So Las Vegas stood still for a day and completely unprompted mankind thinks the logical next step is to disassemble all nuclear weapons. Independence Day is a great exampleRead more
I think the majority of my points from your alternative version of this logline still stand.
This one makes less sense though. So Las Vegas stood still for a day and completely unprompted mankind thinks the logical next step is to disassemble all nuclear weapons. Independence Day is a great example of what mankind will do with nuclear weapons when aliens appear and mess with us. Or Aliens (nuke the site from orbit). Mankind loves to fight and we have a long and bloody history to prove it. Aliens appearing isn’t going to change that – particularly when there’s no reason for it.
Hope this helps.
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