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This is my second choice: A space alien and her Paiute Indian female friend lands in a flying saucer on the Las Vegas Strip and demands that all nuclear weapons be disassemble or NO electricity for a decade.
Why is it important to know that her friend is a Paiute Indian female? What bearing does that have on the story? I'm not saying that you can't have the character BUT if it's not apparent in the logline what part she plays then take her out of the logline. I'm with Richiev... why is the alien doing tRead more
Why is it important to know that her friend is a Paiute Indian female? What bearing does that have on the story? I’m not saying that you can’t have the character BUT if it’s not apparent in the logline what part she plays then take her out of the logline.
I’m with Richiev… why is the alien doing this? As a film this could easily be over in 2 mins – alien lands, makes his demands, the end. This is basically the inciting incident and the real story is from the humans POV and what they do next.
Why Las Vegas too? I’m not sure it would make any difference where they landed as it currently stands.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhile celebrating at an exclusive costume ball, a group of superrich Singaporeans is lured away by sexy aliens and now must save Earth from being taken over by superrich aliens looking to add Earth to their coffers.
I read it as only one set of aliens (perhaps my brain protected me from alien-overdose). I don't see the concept of sexiness in the recipe.However, the concept of both protagonists and aliens being rich works for me in the frame of a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?premise: what if the protagonistsRead more
I read it as only one set of aliens (perhaps my brain protected me from alien-overdose). I don’t see the concept of sexiness in the recipe.
However, the concept of both protagonists and aliens being rich works for me in the frame of a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?premise: what if the protagonists are real-estate developers, kicking people out of their homes by raising land/rent value; then the aliens are also intergalactic real-estate developers who want to re-furbish the earth; kick the humans out and bring their own people to colonise it.
See lessWhen a problematic medical student, on probation, discovers a plot to kill the imperial family and overthrow the current galactic dynasty, he offers his services to the mastermind terrorist and falls in love with his daughter while trying to undermine his plan.
Currently, this is just a long way of saying the inciting incident which (as Richiev) has pointed out, is just the discovery of this plot. What happens next? Why is he disgraced and what bearing does that have on the story? Why is it relevant that he is practicing trans-species medicine? At the momeRead more
Currently, this is just a long way of saying the inciting incident which (as Richiev) has pointed out, is just the discovery of this plot. What happens next?
Why is he disgraced and what bearing does that have on the story? Why is it relevant that he is practicing trans-species medicine? At the moment, these are unnecessary to the story – as I understand it from this version of the logline. If they are really important then make sure we understand why.
Hope this helps.
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