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  1. Posted: February 11, 2019In: SciFi

    When a problematic medical student, on probation, discovers a plot to kill the imperial family and overthrow the current galactic dynasty, he offers his services to the mastermind terrorist and falls in love with his daughter while trying to undermine his plan.

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on February 11, 2019 at 7:01 pm

    Currently, this is just a long way of saying the inciting incident which (as Richiev) has pointed out, is just the discovery of this plot. What happens next? Why is he disgraced and what bearing does that have on the story? Why is it relevant that he is practicing trans-species medicine? At the momeRead more

    Currently, this is just a long way of saying the inciting incident which (as Richiev) has pointed out, is just the discovery of this plot. What happens next?

    Why is he disgraced and what bearing does that have on the story? Why is it relevant that he is practicing trans-species medicine? At the moment, these are unnecessary to the story – as I understand it from this version of the logline. If they are really important then make sure we understand why.

    Hope this helps.

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  2. Posted: February 8, 2019In: SciFi

    A group of engineers help create a powerful artificial intelligent assistant that helps solve many of humanity’s problems leading to a great awakening that ends up demanding human worship.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on February 9, 2019 at 9:43 am

    Then we get the second act. I am assuming we don?t want to worship the machine? So what do we do? That is the story.

    Then we get the second act.

    I am assuming we don?t want to worship the machine? So what do we do? That is the story.

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  3. Posted: February 6, 2019In: SciFi

    Once a refugee herself, a newly appointed CEO leads a global military logistics company to relocate millions of stateless refugees, restarting their new lives in a custom-built communist eco-technotropolis utopia.

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on February 6, 2019 at 7:32 pm

    I agree with Knightrider. It's just a very long way of describing the protagonist. What happens to her that turns her life upside down? What does she try and do to rectify this? ?Story is conflict and currently there is no conflict, just a CEO going about her day to day business. Give us a reason whRead more

    I agree with Knightrider. It’s just a very long way of describing the protagonist.

    What happens to her that turns her life upside down? What does she try and do to rectify this? ?Story is conflict and currently there is no conflict, just a CEO going about her day to day business. Give us a reason why her story is worth watching.

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