1. Posted: October 15, 2018In:

    After a miscalculation in a slipstream, a Roman space legion becomes stranded on a hellish world and must battle a powerful demon intent on shaping the legion into his own instrument to destroy Old Rome, their mother planet.

    dpg Singularity

    The logline is a hodpodge of anachronistic elements. When did any ancient Roman person, let alone a legion, acquire the technology to time and space travel? And I have no idea what "twisting the legion into corrupted horrors" means. And why can't the demon just do his own dirty work? Why does he neeRead more

    The logline is a hodpodge of anachronistic elements. When did any ancient Roman person, let alone a legion, acquire the technology to time and space travel?

    And I have no idea what “twisting the legion into corrupted horrors” means.

    And why can’t the demon just do his own dirty work? Why does he need to use the legion as the weapon of destruction?

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  2. Posted: October 12, 2018In:

    After his people were destroyed, a space-faring cybernetic gun-wielding samurai hunts down a powerful old enemy to avenge his people and prevent a devastating alien weapon from destroying all life.

    Richiev Singularity

    "When his planet is destroyed by space ninjas, the lone survivor forsakes; the path of galactic chi, enters into training to become a cybernetic gun-wielding?samurai to extract revenge on his deadly enemy"

    “When his planet is destroyed by space ninjas, the lone survivor forsakes; the path of galactic chi, enters into training to become a cybernetic gun-wielding?samurai to extract revenge on his deadly enemy”

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  3. Posted: October 12, 2018In:

    With the Ragnarok coming, a cursed young prince, alone among his enemies, seeks salvation through searing visions to save his starfaring empire while two Special Affairs agents, with an intense blood feud between their clans, must solve an intergalactic conspiracy to prevent their planet from losing its fragile sovereignty.

    Mike Pedley Singularity

    Way too much going on. Simplify. Focus on your protagonist, what's the inciting incident, why does this upset the balance and how does the prince seek to correct it. There seems to be two completely separate stories going on. Why?? There's no obvious connection between the two plots. Again, simplifyRead more

    Way too much going on. Simplify. Focus on your protagonist, what’s the inciting incident, why does this upset the balance and how does the prince seek to correct it.

    There seems to be two completely separate stories going on. Why?? There’s no obvious connection between the two plots.

    Again, simplify.

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