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Revised2: Upon learning their time-line has been sabotaged, an insecure, scatterbrained time-travel expert must win the faith of her cranky husband and her team, in time to save her wrongfully terminated project and their marriage.
This logline screams part of "Timeless". However, what is it about the terminated project that's important to her?? What is significant about the loss of marriage?? What is causing the timeline to slip that she had to go back and forth to fix what's not correct? I like the logline but it's not thatRead more
This logline screams part of “Timeless”.
However, what is it about the terminated project that’s important to her?? What is significant about the loss of marriage?? What is causing the timeline to slip that she had to go back and forth to fix what’s not correct?
I like the logline but it’s not that clear yet.
See lessUpon successful human cloning, the mother and the Military of USA destroy the Earth, to redefine ?Mankind? and ?Humanity? on a recreated Earth.
I agree with the others.? I cannot find the protagonist, and even if Mother was one, it's a flimsy one.? To conquer and destroy Earth to remake it in her own idealized version is one thing, but I don't see conflict.? What is terrible about Mother trying to destroy Earth and why is she doing it?? ForRead more
I agree with the others.? I cannot find the protagonist, and even if Mother was one, it’s a flimsy one.? To conquer and destroy Earth to remake it in her own idealized version is one thing, but I don’t see conflict.? What is terrible about Mother trying to destroy Earth and why is she doing it?? For maximum efficiency?? Evolution of one’s beings?? Improvement of cognitive knowledge and harmony?
Something is missing and it sounds like a grand scope idea, not a well defined one.
See lessWhen she breaks the law and names herself, a free-spirited cog fights against the local diversity officer in order to convince her town that freedom should not be outlawed –The Dark Age–
I had a minor confusion in the beginning.? You placed a comma after herself, hence the confusion.? Here's what I'd do. When she breaks the law and names herself a free spirited cog, she fights against the local diversity officer in order to convince her town that freedom should not be outlawed. NotiRead more
I had a minor confusion in the beginning.? You placed a comma after herself, hence the confusion.? Here’s what I’d do.
When she breaks the law and names herself a free spirited cog, she fights against the local diversity officer in order to convince her town that freedom should not be outlawed.
Notice that I removed -The Dark Age- because it is not important for the logline.? Something to consider when loglining.
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