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  1. Posted: September 11, 2018In: SciFi

    When a vengeful alien threatens to destroy Earth, a reluctant young drifter must live up to his father’s reputation as a Starfleet Captain and stop the invasion.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai
    Added an answer on September 15, 2018 at 6:07 am

    It has clear objective and an evident inner motivation (the successful, glorious father, etc.). I like it and I think it works. Perhaps a little more specific info on the alien? Is it an "alien spaceship" or a whole "alien fleet?" Perhaps the drifter has to organise the Earth's fleet, to deal with aRead more

    It has clear objective and an evident inner motivation (the successful, glorious father, etc.). I like it and I think it works.

    Perhaps a little more specific info on the alien? Is it an “alien spaceship” or a whole “alien fleet?” Perhaps the drifter has to organise the Earth’s fleet, to deal with an invasion of a larger scale.

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  2. Posted: July 17, 2018In: SciFi

    When his best friend dies in a drive by shooting, a naive vagrant must escape the harsh streets of his home world to join the galactic armed forces, endure their harsh training and battle nightmarish aliens to become a space knight.

    Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
    Added an answer on July 19, 2018 at 2:49 pm

    The causal link between event (friend murdered in drive-by) and goal (become space-knight) is unclear. How is the latter response to the former? Is it because, in the rules of your story's universe, the space-knights are some sort of police force, and with his newfound space-knight powers he's goingRead more

    The causal link between event (friend murdered in drive-by) and goal (become space-knight) is unclear. How is the latter response to the former?

    Is it because, in the rules of your story’s universe, the space-knights are some sort of police force, and with his newfound space-knight powers he’s going to chase down and catch his friend’s killers?

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  3. Posted: July 15, 2018In: SciFi

    When ruthless alien killers with chameleon abilities escape to Earth, an elite, combat security officer must kill or recapture them before they slaughter the humans that get in their way

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on July 16, 2018 at 5:43 pm

    Agree with all comments. I would change the "cause the ship's captain to lose..." to something about the protagonist. Or make the ship's captain the protagonist. I would just go with saving human lives though. Although you can have a nice internal/external struggle between getting the money and saviRead more

    Agree with all comments. I would change the “cause the ship’s captain to lose…” to something about the protagonist. Or make the ship’s captain the protagonist.

    I would just go with saving human lives though. Although you can have a nice internal/external struggle between getting the money and saving people. Is there a way to link the two? If humans are killed they lose their commission?

    When three shape-shifting alien killers escape his ship and head to Earth, the ship’s security officer must hunt them down before their desire to kill costs the whole crew their commission.

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