1. Posted: January 18, 2020In:

    After having a freak accident during a baseball game, high school students must use their superpowers to stop their enemies from invading their town.

    Han_Heya Logliner

    I think the freak accident thing is overplayed. Also, were there enemies before the freak accident or did they just randomly show up?

    I think the freak accident thing is overplayed. Also, were there enemies before the freak accident or did they just randomly show up?

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  2. Posted: January 15, 2020In:

    Rosy is a 9 year old school girl with a sideline in selling slime to her classmates. When a magical ingredient gives her amazing powers, she sees a chance to inspire real change in the world. But not before she’s saved a young boy who’s lost all hope, a boy with destructive powers of his own.

    Richiev Singularity

    "When she saves a boy with destructive powers, an elementary student must use her own powers in order to..." (Then tell us what she must do)

    “When she saves a boy with destructive powers, an elementary student must use her own powers in order to…” (Then tell us what she must do)

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  3. Posted: September 6, 2019In:

    A young man with electric superpowers must find the balance of good and evil within himself before a villain sends humanity back to the Dark Ages.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    OK, I get it. I first read the later log line on the same story, and now I'm reading this previous version. Your problem is trying to avoid writing a specific ACTION. (As in EVENT, CHARACTER, ACTION, The holy trinity of the log line, as described in the formula page on this website.) So, as others bRead more

    OK, I get it. I first read the later log line on the same story, and now I’m reading this previous version.

    Your problem is trying to avoid writing a specific ACTION. (As in EVENT, CHARACTER, ACTION, The holy trinity of the log line, as described in the formula page on this website.)

    So, as others before me have advised you, you have to write a specific outer motivation: defeating the villain.

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