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A former public speaker with super senses and aggression behaviors and a lab scientist must stop a rich influential businessman from destroy the city with a serum provokes violence and aggression.
Why must he?Why him?(Is it because his awful aggression is taking away from the 'public speaking'? As a result, his goal should be to restore himself rather than preventing a corrupt magnate from misusing the serum. Since there isn't any inciting incident, can't say what his action needs beThis coulRead more
Why must he?
Why him?
(Is it because his awful aggression is taking away from the ‘public speaking’? As a result, his goal should be to restore himself rather than preventing a corrupt magnate from misusing the serum. Since there isn’t any inciting incident, can’t say what his action needs be
This could set late, and go in any wild direction: “After a corrupt industrialist floods the city with Rage Serum, a berserk public speaker must help its creator in retrieving the-antidote-he-plans-to-sell-for-millions”)
See lessAfter a fight with a pack of wolves, a emotionally volatile tachycardic is given superhuman senses, which places him and his girlfriend in danger from an unstoppable tyrannical businessman. (Revision 2)
As mentioned in previous versions of this logline, the inciting incident in most superhero stories is actually the appearance of the villain. Until that point the hero is just standing around learning how to use his powers and, whilst awesome to watch, isn't actually the story. Your villain is unstoRead more
As mentioned in previous versions of this logline, the inciting incident in most superhero stories is actually the appearance of the villain. Until that point the hero is just standing around learning how to use his powers and, whilst awesome to watch, isn’t actually the story.
Your villain is unstoppable… he can’t be stopped. You have no story then. We need to have some idea what this bad guy is trying to achieve and why. He can’t just be a one dimensional villain who wants the hero’s powers just because he’s evil.
The girlfriend doesn’t need to be in the logline. It adds nothing.
Superhero movies are usually large scale adventures (not always). In your version, the only people in danger are the hero and his girlfriend. You need some more story in here. As it stands, after he’s attained these powers the hero and his girlfriend are simply “in danger”. They could be sitting at home watching TV together and be “in danger”. What’s actually happening and why?
Why wolves? Why is the fact that he’s a tachycardic relevant? So many elements here are disconnected – tie it all together.
See lessWhen an emotionally volatile tachycardic gets enhanced primal senses from his condition, he must learn to hone his senses to stop a rich influential man from taking his abilities and taking over the city. (revised edition round 1)
Same thoughts as Mike. I get a Daredevil impression from primal senses, but without enough of a connection to a fast heart rate. "Emotionally volatile" is interesting in its own right, but hard to see the point of it with everything else. My two cents.
Same thoughts as Mike.
I get a Daredevil impression from primal senses, but without enough of a connection to a fast heart rate.
“Emotionally volatile” is interesting in its own right, but hard to see the point of it with everything else.
My two cents.
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