Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
When a gunman suffering PTSD takes a first year class hostage, two trainee teachers work together to calm both the terrorfied children and the crazed gunman.
I agree with Gabe that the dramatic action line is rather passive and reactive. ?And certainly incomplete.Obviously, one of their 1st tasks would be to calm down the children and talk down the gunman, but surely that isn't the action/conflict that constitutes the entirety of Act 2?What does the gunmRead more
I agree with Gabe that the dramatic action line is rather passive and reactive. ?And certainly incomplete.
Obviously, one of their 1st tasks would be to calm down the children and talk down the gunman, but surely that isn’t the action/conflict that constitutes the entirety of Act 2?
What does the gunman want– what is his objective goal in taking hostages? ?And as a result, what must the 2 teenagers do about it — what becomes their objective goal?
See lessDuring WW2, in occupied France, a former underdog cyclist working for the Resistance must compete in a national race organized by the Nazis to secretly carry out a vital microfilm to the Allied Forces at the Spanish border.
On the matter of language, etc.Even though the American film industry is larger, the larger target market is French, not English. ? Larger target market both in terms of movie producers who would be interested in the producing the film and movie viewers who will want to watch it.Say "Vichy France" aRead more
On the matter of language, etc.
Even though the American film industry is larger, the larger target market is French, not English. ? Larger target market both in terms of movie producers who would be interested in the producing the film and movie viewers who will want to watch it.
Say “Vichy France” and most Americans will have no idea what you are referring to. ? Bottled water, perhaps? ?
Also, because changing demographics in the US population as well the evolution of international markets , Hollyweird made movies are tilting more toward subjects that will sell in Asia (China is now the most lucrative market by far) ?and South America, less toward Europe.
fwiw
See lessWhile investigating the abduction of a child in a remote community of the Appalachian Mountains, a FBI Agent makes the shocking discovery that he is linked to a disappearance there decades earlier.
senditon:>>>my feeling is that a logline should hook a reader?s interest by whatever means necessary.Which is to say, a logline should feature a must-read story hook. ?And I completely agree. ?Indeed, IMHO, for ?wannabes trying to break into business, the most important element in their scrRead more
senditon:
>>>my feeling is that a logline should hook a reader?s interest by whatever means necessary.
Which is to say, a logline should feature a must-read story hook. ?And I completely agree. ?Indeed, IMHO, for ?wannabes trying to break into business, the most important element in their script, hence, their logline, is a hook. ?A GREAT, irresistible hook.
So the question is: does “makes the shocking discovery that he is linked to a disappearance there decades earlier” constitute a strong story hook? ?Well, my personal, completely biased initial response was: ?not so much.
Every murder mystery ?has — or should have– ?at least one, plot-pivoting ?”shocking discovery”. ?It’s a standard operating feature of a mystery. So the fact that your story has a “shocking discovery” is not, uh, shocking. ?And since you shouldn’t reveal the Big Reveal in a logline, ?what’s the point in even suggesting there is one?
On the other hand, ?your revision does a better job of engaging my interest.
But don’t?these 2 versions lay out the same dramatic ?problem? ?Well, yes, but how you frame the plot is different. ?And I don’t think that’s a minor distinction.
Why do I favor the 2nd one over the 1st? ?Because the way I read the 2nd version is that your script will quickly set up the mystery, tease me in the right way with some intriguing clues. ?The central mystery is booted up in the 1st Act.
IOW: the 1st Act has a strong hook designed to ?grab an audience’s attention, make them want to know what happens next.
Whereas my reading of the 1st version is that it promises no particular hook in the 1st Act to grab and hold ?my attention. ?It ?offers a hook — eventually, maybe 50 ?or 60 minutes in, if the audience will only be patient and persevere. ?But in an age of multitasking, of so many alternatives, so many diversions, that’s an unrealistic expectation. ?You gotta hook the audience early, in the 1st Act.
So my take away is that ideally a logline should 1] have a strong hook; ?and?2] the hook should be planted in the 1st Act. ?Which,I think your 2nd version does on both counts.
And on the basis of that 2nd version, I give your story my thumbs up.
fwiw
See less