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To avenge his mentor?s murder, an assassin who turned his back on the intelligence world returns, discovers he?s no longer the hunter, but the hunted and has to stop them before they destroy the core principles of the countries founders.
A solid improvement over your first draft. And Foxtrot25s redraft is a further improvement. Though,?I am having difficulty seeing how solving the government problem relates to avenging his mentor's murder? Was his mentor involved in preserving the integrity of the country?
A solid improvement over your first draft. And Foxtrot25s redraft is a further improvement. Though,?I am having difficulty seeing how solving the government problem relates to avenging his mentor’s murder? Was his mentor involved in preserving the integrity of the country?
See lessAfter his mentor?s murder, a killer, an assassin in an attempt to find a reason to live, returns to the covert world he left to find the killer, but realizes he?s no longer the hunter, but the hunted.
To avenge his mentor?s murder, an assassin is drawn back into the world he had abandoned, but realizes he?s no longer the hunter, but the hunted. Seems a little cleaner.
To avenge his mentor?s murder, an assassin is drawn back into the world he had abandoned, but realizes he?s no longer the hunter, but the hunted.
Seems a little cleaner.
See lessVideo recordings showing murders and political payoff sent to key intelligence agencies lure a retired operative back, quickly he discover corruption, assassinations tied to a government program so he has to find the one who started it as his associates begin dropping, he has to find this man before they kill him or succeed at destroying the foundation of the country.
As Foxtrot25 said.The ?logline for the genre needs to be specific -- not vague -- about the danger he faces. IOW: it needs to name a specific antagonist or state the specific overarching obstacle that threatens to frustrate and defeat him.
As Foxtrot25 said.
The ?logline for the genre needs to be specific — not vague — about the danger he faces. IOW: it needs to name a specific antagonist or state the specific overarching obstacle that threatens to frustrate and defeat him.
See less