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When his older brother is framed for a brutal murder. A 15yr old prodigy with incredible powers & abilities. Will unite with his “retired” criminal genius uncle. To stop a superhuman genius serial killer; who has a vendetta against the city’s elite.
Agreed with Craig, best to define a clear goal and inciting incident in the logline.How does the brother's arrest logically motivate him to fight the serial killer? I would think that if he knows his brother is innocent, he would try and free him or prove his innocence. If that is the ultimate goal,Read more
Agreed with Craig, best to define a clear goal and inciting incident in the logline.
How does the brother’s arrest logically motivate him to fight the serial killer? I would think that if he knows his brother is innocent, he would try and free him or prove his innocence. If that is the ultimate goal, it should be clearly stated as such.
Lastly, I find that good loglines use very little, if at all, adjectives to describe the events and characters. Words such as; brutal, incredible and genius, come across as attempts to heighten the stakes artificially. A good premise will have clearly understood heightened stakes, and require far less linguistic embellishment. I suggest you remove these words and heighten the stakes and motivation, this will also free up some precious logline real-estate.
See lessAn esoteric detective is recruited to find a pregnant woman?s killer, and a struggling rock and roll band holds the key to the mystery.
If you drop the recruiting section it gives you room for connective tissue. "Investigating a pregnant woman's murder a detective ....."
If you drop the recruiting section it gives you room for connective tissue. “Investigating a pregnant woman’s murder a detective …..”
See lessWhen the public ignores evidence of violent rape by a demagogic president, a reporter convinces MIT nanobot engineers to help her surveil him, certain that airing his private moments will destroy him, but also naive to the many dangers of the plan.
The idea is interesting but I think the movie is 'outside' the logline. I mean, the real movie is about what happens after the reporter starts the?surveillance and the logline should capture that rahter than 'convincing the mit scientists of blah blah blah'.
The idea is interesting but I think the movie is ‘outside’ the logline. I mean, the real movie is about what happens after the reporter starts the?surveillance and the logline should capture that rahter than ‘convincing the mit scientists of blah blah blah’.
See less