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  1. Posted: November 15, 2016In: Thriller

    After she covers up a murder, an ambitious cop must escape the clutches of the disturbed young man that blackmails her.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on November 15, 2016 at 11:23 am

    Even if she didn't commit the murder, her covering it up is just as bad - empathy will be a problem. I think the story really starts when the man blackmails her - it reads like the inciting incident. If you want to keep her an anti-hero (you're a braver writer than I...), find a away to give her a nRead more

    Even if she didn’t commit the murder, her covering it up is just as bad – empathy will be a problem.

    I think the story really starts when the man blackmails her – it reads like the inciting incident. If you want to keep her an anti-hero (you’re a braver writer than I…), find a away to give her a noble motivation for doing the cover up, and then change the order around so it reads as if the blackmail is the inciting incident. Obviously give her a clear goal, now that she is being blackmailed what MUST she do in order to rectify the situation?

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  2. Posted: November 7, 2016In: Thriller

    When a struggling reporter unknowingly steals a CIA hitman’s phone, he must save the next person on the hit list to expose a government cover up.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 9, 2016 at 10:40 pm

    As Nir Shelter said. ?Why must the reporter do the hit man's job? ?Why doesn't the reporter just let the hit man solve his problem by killing the target who threatens to expose him?

    As Nir Shelter said. ?Why must the reporter do the hit man’s job? ?Why doesn’t the reporter just let the hit man solve his problem by killing the target who threatens to expose him?

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  3. Posted: October 31, 2016In: Thriller

    An overly curious high-school boy, has to reveal the killer of a flawless homicide, with his newfound psychic power, before the murderer, who also possess such power, finds him first and kills him along with his family, in a run and chase in both sub-concious and physical world.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on November 6, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    Good suggestion by DPG. I think combing psychic powers as a subject matter with a thriller genre is great - it sounds interesting. However, you need to integrate the psychic powers elements into the fabric of the story. DPG's rework is a good place to start, but I believe can be improved on. No offeRead more

    Good suggestion by DPG.

    I think combing psychic powers as a subject matter with a thriller genre is great – it sounds interesting. However, you need to integrate the psychic powers elements into the fabric of the story. DPG’s rework is a good place to start, but I believe can be improved on.
    No offense DPG, lots of respect for you and you know it!

    How about him having murderous urges himself. He uses his psychic powers to find the best victim for his first kill, but discovers someone else is like him. Then once in the other student’s twisted mind he sees how bad it is, and undergoes a fundamental change as a person – he now feels the need to protect people from the killer and goes after him. This gives you a mid act 2 reversal combined with a powerful inner journey to overcome a major character flaw.

    For example:
    After a psychic sociopath witnesses visions of a brutal murder in a fellow high school student’s mind, he feels compelled to protect the intended victims by stopping the killer.

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