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Seeing her father assassinated, Princess escapes to search the land for her exiled mother to learn the djinn arts to take revenge and save her people.?
I like Nir's ?version, too, because it gives the antagonist equivalent power. ??He's a sorcerer as knowledgeable the magical arts as must become. ?Consequently, ?just acquiring skill in the magical arts doesn't guarantee the princess inevitable success, make it a slam dunk that she will succeed.?
I like Nir’s ?version, too, because it gives the antagonist equivalent power. ??He’s a sorcerer as knowledgeable the magical arts as must become. ?Consequently, ?just acquiring skill in the magical arts doesn’t guarantee the princess inevitable success, make it a slam dunk that she will succeed.?
See lessThe Examiner, is a thriller about an emotionally stressed widower and single parent bank examiner, who investigating a multi-billion dollar financial fraud,discover that all clues lead to himself and must find the imposter before a determined anti-fraud unit officer catches up with him.This becomes increasingly difficult because the imposter- happens to be the way ward son he is struggling to control , being forced by an ex-convict bank manager on a revenge course..
Thank you my brothers and mentors.
Thank you my brothers and mentors.
See lessA single mother wakes up one morning having forgotten the past 16 years and the circumstances of her husband’s disappearance. While she tries to find him, a vengeful cop implicates her for a murder.
The latest draft of the logline is a bit more streamlined in terms of events, but still lacks a compelling motivation and clear goal.The fact she can't remember the father's identity is really no biggie. What's the worst that will happen should she fail to find the father? Equally what's the best thRead more
The latest draft of the logline is a bit more streamlined in terms of events, but still lacks a compelling motivation and clear goal.
The fact she can’t remember the father’s identity is really no biggie. What’s the worst that will happen should she fail to find the father? Equally what’s the best that would happen if she does find the father? What does she stand to gain? Not much…
What will she do once she finds the father? What is the purpose of her search outside of identifying him?
Her stakes are low and goal unclear.
Lastly “…a vengeful cop…” is a vague description of a bad guy – vengeful about what? The whole murder investigation feels like a ‘tacked on’ plot point and unrelated to the story. Either make her struggling to prove her innocence in the murder investigation the A plot or drop it altogether.
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