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When his revengeful ex-wife murders one of his neighbors, a dismissed errant detective must use his unorthodox methods to help the police force bring her to justice.
>>>I was wondering, how the volountary/forced OG affects the quality or viability of the logline? I feel that this is an important point.Good question, FFF.When the protagonist voluntarily commits to the objective goal , then the question arises in my mind ?as to the quality and viability oRead more
>>>I was wondering, how the volountary/forced OG affects the quality or viability of the logline? I feel that this is an important point.
Good question, FFF.
When the protagonist voluntarily commits to the objective goal , then the question arises in my mind ?as to the quality and viability of the protagonist’s motivation. ?How does the inciting incident hook into the protagonist’s psychology such that it motivates him to break out of the comfy cage of the status quo, venture into the treacherous unknown, engage in risky behavior?
Well, you can’t spell that all out in a logline, obviously, but it should be implicit, ?a factor a logline reader can intuitively grasp. ?When an action is voluntary then the protagonist has to have a good reason for doing it, right?
In this logline, the detective’s decision to solve the case is not forced upon him. ? If he were still on the force, having the case assigned to him would be a straightforward, credible causal link between the inciting incident and the objective goal.
But he’s been fired. ?So his action is voluntary. ?He has to opt in.
And he does. ?Why? ?What is the psychological hook of the inciting incident that motivates him to opt in?
Well, he ?is — or was — a detective. So ?how about he still has a habit for the hunt? ?His response is Pavlovian. ?Well, that could be a factor, but is that sufficient enough a motivation to kick off the plot?
And she’s a neighbor. ?But how good a neighbor? ?Did they frequently chat, exchange holiday gifts, reciprocate with mutual acts of kindness and assistance? ?IOW: what were the bonds of friendship that would motivate him to solve the mystery case? ?How involved was he in her life that emotionally justifies his getting involved in her death? ?We don’t have a clue.
But if they were lovers — ?well, now the psychological hook is obvious and strong. No elaboration is needed.
Take away: the voluntary-involuntary question in my template cues me to consider the viability of the link between the inciting incident and the objective goal.
See lessWhen the memories of his deceased family are stolen by a corrupt government official, a former extractor must obtain material from a highly secure cloud service for human memory to have them restored.
"After the memories of his wife and child are stolen by a power hungry government official, a washed up data smuggler must steal information from The Archive, a high security virtual reality cloud service used to backup and store memories too risky to store in the human mind, in order to get them baRead more
“After the memories of his wife and child are stolen by a power hungry government official, a washed up data smuggler must steal information from The Archive, a high security virtual reality cloud service used to backup and store memories too risky to store in the human mind, in order to get them back.”
This version is better. Here’s my new one:
Example:?After his family’s memories are stolen by an ambitious government official, a data smuggler must hack into?a high security memory storage cloud to get them back.(29)
See lessWhat information does he have to steal? Wouldn’t he just be stealing back the memories? There may be a complication, such as they’re being held somewhere else, but the first plan of action would be to go the Archive and simply steal them back, correct? If not then it should be made clear what this other information has to do with retrieving the memories.
A hacker must shut down the latest social media craze, The MindNet, after illegally connecting his mind with network?s creator and discovering a plan to use the MindNet as a means of population control.
I like the concept! I think the?problem is that we don't know what we will see in the movie... a physical heist at the MinNet server facility? people discussing hacking strategies on their keybords? I don't know if this is important at this stage. Anyway, I encourage you to write a 4 pages treatmentRead more
I like the concept!
I think the?problem is that we don’t know what we will see in the movie… a physical heist at the MinNet server facility? people discussing hacking strategies on their keybords? I don’t know if this is important at this stage.
Anyway, I encourage you to write a 4 pages treatment to test the concept, then go back at the logline.
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