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  1. Posted: August 31, 2016In: Thriller

    Nazi spy falls in love with her Allied Target and has 48 hours to rescue him before her sadistic team executes a plot that threatens them both.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 31, 2016 at 9:04 pm

    Why would a spy focus ?time and energy targeting a mere grunt, a soldier? ?What information or access to military intelligence does he have that the Nazis want? ?What makes him such a valuable target?

    Why would a spy focus ?time and energy targeting a mere grunt, a soldier? ?What information or access to military intelligence does he have that the Nazis want? ?What makes him such a valuable target?

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  2. Posted: August 28, 2016In: Thriller

    After a sorcerer kills her father, a sheltered princes must search for her exiled enchantress mother in order to learn the forbidden arts and save her people from the usurper

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on August 29, 2016 at 11:56 am

    Describe one inciting incident and one goal, or else the plot will seem fragmented. The father's murder is the greater motivator of the two so mention only that, and freeing her people is more compelling than her rising to the throne. The MC description is strange and unrelated to the plot,?whetherRead more

    Describe one inciting incident and one goal, or else the plot will seem fragmented.

    The father’s murder is the greater motivator of the two so mention only that, and freeing her people is more compelling than her rising to the throne.

    The MC description is strange and unrelated to the plot,?whether she’s desired for her money, looks or blood line, it makes no difference – her goal is to free her people from a tyrant.
    My suggestion:
    After a tyrant kills her father an exiled princess must team up with her witch mother to lead her people in a revolt.

    23 words.

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  3. Posted: August 24, 2016In: Thriller

    After giving a tape showing a ritual killing to a deputy. Both the tape and the deputy go missing. When he finds more tapes he needs to get them to the police and survive attacks from unknown individuals. PS: small town, he thinks the cops are involved.

    [Deleted User]
    Added an answer on August 27, 2016 at 2:05 am

    Everyone has made the points I could -- make it flow better, get it down to an appropriate length etc. etc. I want to give you a positive: The title works for me because it conjures the image of the kids cartoon but your logline isn't at all. Great irony, nice work.

    Everyone has made the points I could — make it flow better, get it down to an appropriate length etc. etc.

    I want to give you a positive: The title works for me because it conjures the image of the kids cartoon but your logline isn’t at all. Great irony, nice work.

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