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A young NSA Agent impersonates a government minister at a secret meeting on the global arms trade to terrorists. But when masked gunmen storm the building, their target is not the minister he impersonates, but the NSA Agent himself.
Essentialy the under cover agent discovers that his agency is after him. That's your hook, but I don't think your logline is really expressing this dramatically enough. The whole first sentence can be cut, as it doesn't describe the main plot, all you need to write is: After and under cover CIA agenRead more
Essentialy the under cover agent discovers that his agency is after him. That’s your hook, but I don’t think your logline is really expressing this dramatically enough. The whole first sentence can be cut, as it doesn’t describe the main plot, all you need to write is:
After and under cover CIA agent on a mission is targeted by his fellow operatives he must?
The specifics of his initial mission are unimportant as the inciting incident is the CIA’s attempt on his life. I changed it to CIA as they would likely be more inclined to undertake such operations.
Problem is you didn’t describe the goal, after he realises?that they are after him what MUST he do? This is a crucial element of a logline and needs to be described.
See lessA bloodthirsty psychopath traumatized by the murder of his mother forms a group of dangerous terrorists with the goal of avenging his mother and destroying the criminals and gangsters of his town. He is later ought to face a famous and intelligent detective.
Don't understand why the protagonist has to be a psychopath. ?If that's the way he is from FADE IN:, what's his character arc? I think it would be a stronger character arc, make for a more compelling story if he starts out as a normal, law abiding person who succumbs to the dark side of his nature wRead more
Don’t understand why the protagonist has to be a psychopath. ?If that’s the way he is from FADE IN:, what’s his character arc? I think it would be a stronger character arc, make for a more compelling story if he starts out as a normal, law abiding person who succumbs to the dark side of his nature when he begins to engage in “street justice” after failing to get legal justice.
fwiw
See lessWhen several wealthy young ski bums appear to commit suicide, a nerdy female police investigator must find a psychopath in the clannish world of the ski resort
Like Moses99 , I don't see a hook, a unique selling point that makes this stand out. ?Agree with Nir Shelter that the concept would benefit from the protagonist having personal stakes.
Like Moses99 , I don’t see a hook, a unique selling point that makes this stand out. ?Agree with Nir Shelter that the concept would benefit from the protagonist having personal stakes.
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