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  1. Posted: July 12, 2016In: Thriller

    When his buddies desert him in law-enforced territory, a fast-talking space pirate hitches a ride with an underpaid traffic officer to retrieve his precious loot.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on July 14, 2016 at 12:37 pm

    I can't see enough action to fill a whole act 2. He hitchhikes a ride with the officer,?but?then what happens? They sit in his space car for 50 minutes until they find the bad guys? What is the resulting action? Films are often sold on the action of act 2 as it is most of the film, best if you descrRead more

    I can’t see enough action to fill a whole act 2.

    He hitchhikes a ride with the officer,?but?then what happens?
    They sit in his space car for 50 minutes until they find the bad guys? What is the resulting action?

    Films are often sold on the action of act 2 as it is most of the film, best if you describe how he plans on getting back the loot – fight, steal or con his way to it.

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  2. Posted: July 8, 2016In: Thriller

    When a nice holiday cruise turns bloody, a detective and failed parent must take down the threat and regain his self-worth.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on July 9, 2016 at 2:14 pm

    There does need to be a driving factor, a goal. Getting back your self worth is an outcome not really a goal.

    There does need to be a driving factor, a goal. Getting back your self worth is an outcome not really a goal.

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  3. Posted: July 8, 2016In: Thriller

    When a bitten-to-death passenger is found dead in his cabin, a dad with son-issues aspires to catch the killer and redeem himself to his son.

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on July 9, 2016 at 9:35 am

    "Because for the purpose of a logline and a plot, a protagonist should only have 1 objective goal" In this case, I think it matters how you view these, because in reality they could be viewed as only part of a larger goal: to balance work and personal life. In that case repairing the marriage and doRead more

    “Because for the purpose of a logline and a plot, a protagonist should only have 1 objective goal”
    In this case, I think it matters how you view these, because in reality they could be viewed as only part of a larger goal: to balance work and personal life. In that case repairing the marriage and doing the job are only steps to take to get to the goal. Just as in real life, most people’s goal is to live life to the , but everything else falls under that. But in a story is it too broad? I think in that case the focus goes on the trials the person faces to achieve that grand goal. In this case, having to be able to do the job and keep the marriage together.
    Anyway, I still stand by my earlier stance where I said seeing the protagonist losing at the end would be refreshing compared to all the happy endings..

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