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  1. Posted: June 2, 2016In: Thriller

    A web of tragic events unfold when a love-starved atomic scientist allows herself to be seduced by a personable but moody lesbian teen whom she suspects of being a spy.

    DylanK Logliner
    Added an answer on June 6, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    Is this film really about the danger?being seduced by?a spy puts you in? ?Or is it about the emotional toll of betrayal? ?If it's about a spy, then it's a Thriller. ?If it's about the emotional toll, then Drama. As a Thriller you definitely need to focus on the dangerous situation the scientist findRead more

    Is this film really about the danger?being seduced by?a spy puts you in? ?Or is it about the emotional toll of betrayal? ?If it’s about a spy, then it’s a Thriller. ?If it’s about the emotional toll, then Drama.

    As a Thriller you definitely need to focus on the dangerous situation the scientist finds herself in and downplay the emotional state of the characters.

    If it’s a drama you do the reverse.

    So which is this? ?Is it a story about espionage that happens to have a lesbian love affair in it?
    Or is it a story of betrayal and lost love that happens to include spies?

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  2. Posted: June 1, 2016In: Thriller

    A man seeking love falls for a lady he will marry. When he walks in on his best friend sleeping with her, he then must make a choice to either walk away or get his revenge.

    Best Answer
    DylanK Logliner
    Added an answer on June 6, 2016 at 5:43 am

    This log line contains extra and unnecessary information. ?The sentence "A man seeking love falls for a lady he will marry." can be replaced by the words 'An engaged man." Simplified "An engaged man discovers his fiancee sleeping with his best friend. " ?Then you set up the choice he has to make aboRead more

    This log line contains extra and unnecessary information. ?The sentence “A man seeking love falls for a lady he will marry.” can be replaced by the words ‘An engaged man.”

    Simplified “An engaged man discovers his fiancee sleeping with his best friend. ” ?Then you set up the choice he has to make about letting them go or trying to get some kind of revenge on them both.

    Since the whole film is him deciding to do something bad to them, it would be good if we had some idea of what that specifically was. ?Sleeping with his best friends girl? ?His Fiancee’s sister?

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  3. Posted: June 1, 2016In: Thriller

    After a failed stint as a professional motorcycle racer, a middle aged man, on the verge of losing everything, takes to the streets and races his way up the street racing ladder.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on June 2, 2016 at 6:48 pm

    The latest draft of the logline seems rather bland on account of the stakes being mundane and not personal. If he loses his house he'll be sad but will survive, he'll get a job elsewhere and find a place to rent - no biggi. If however, he has kids or other dependants his actions will impact them andRead more

    The latest draft of the logline seems rather bland on account of the stakes being mundane and not personal. If he loses his house he’ll be sad but will survive, he’ll get a job elsewhere and find a place to rent – no biggi. If however, he has kids or other dependants his actions will impact them and consequently?increase the stakes.

    Think of Will Smith’s character in The Pursuit of Happiness, if it were not for his boy the film wouldn’t have been as dramatic as it was.

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