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A young man with a dark past is trying everything to stay sane until she sends him into a deep darkness that hurts anyone that gets in his way.
The purpose of a logline is to sketch out a plot. ? Alas, "stay sane" is vague and insufficient for describing a plot. ? It needs to be fleshed out with a specific course of action.In real life, when people are under great psychological stress, therapists and counselors suggest specific routines, coRead more
The purpose of a logline is to sketch out a plot. ? Alas, “stay sane” is vague and insufficient for describing a plot. ? It needs to be fleshed out with a specific course of action.
In real life, when people are under great psychological stress, therapists and counselors suggest specific routines, coping measures, diversionary and displacement activities to handle the stress, so people do not resort to their darkest impulses and do violence to others or themselves.
Likewise, in this reel life, the protagonist needs a game plan leading toward an objective goal and away from his urge to do violence to others or himself. ?What is that game plan, that objective goal?
(Of course, whether he succeeds is another matter. ?After all, it’s a thriller.)
See lessA young man with a dark past is trying everything to stay sane until the love of his life becomes unfaithful, he turns to the voices inside, can he quiet them or will the voices drive him to kill.
As Richiev said. ?He comes across, as a pathetic, passive victim of circumstances, first of the girl who dumped him, then the voices inside his head. ?The protagonist should be driving the story, but in this case, the story seems to be driving him..
As Richiev said. ?He comes across, as a pathetic, passive victim of circumstances, first of the girl who dumped him, then the voices inside his head. ?The protagonist should be driving the story, but in this case, the story seems to be driving him..
See lessA ?rescued? teenager with an abusive past must rally other students at his new school against a torturous headmistress to save himself and his friends.
What DPG said. The logline lacks clarity and detail, what will be done and how is vital for a logline. In addition I don't think that "?rescued?" is a clear enough description for the main character. It could mean that the boy was abused at home and removed into foster care but depending on the contRead more
What DPG said.
The logline lacks clarity and detail, what will be done and how is vital for a logline.
In addition I don’t think that “?rescued?” is a clear enough description for the main character. It could mean that the boy was abused at home and removed into foster care but depending on the context could mean he was drug addict taken off the streets and put in the care of social workers, or that he was a delinquent taken out of juvenile prison.
Point is the main character description is unclear and doesn’t contribute to the plot.
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