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A fledgling detective pursues a serial killer who killed her mother, getting assistance from beyond the grave, but is overwhelmed by panic attacks when she gets too close.
I think the ghostly help is counterproductive for the reasons cited.??And I'll throw out another reason derived from? E.M. Forster's durable classic "Aspects of the Novel".?? What he says about writing novels? is applicable to screenwriting. The chapter on plotting is filled with nuggets of pure golRead more
I think the ghostly help is counterproductive for the reasons cited.??And I’ll throw out another reason derived from? E.M. Forster’s durable classic “Aspects of the Novel”.?? What he says about writing novels? is applicable to screenwriting. The chapter on plotting is filled with nuggets of pure gold for screenwriters.
What is a logline?? Answer:? a logline is a summary of the plot.
What is a plot? Per E.M.?Forster, a plot is a conspiracy against the protagonist.
In order to achieve his?goal, the protagonist must overcome the opposing?goal of?a host?of opponents and obstacles, that goal being to?defeat and destroy the protagonist.
In this logline, the “panics attacks” is part of the conspiracy to defeat and destroy the detective.? That’s good.? But having?the benefit of “ghostly clues” is a conspiracy to help the detective. Which is contrary to the purpose of a plot.
That’s why I think it vitiates the plot, dilutes suspense, weakens the character, and cheapens the detective’s eventual (I presume) success.
Exception:? if the serial killer also has access to ghostly or supernatural powers?(if that’s?the real cause of the ?panic attacks, for example) ?then I have no problem with ghostly help — as long as it appears that the serial killer has a winning edge, ?more potent supernatural resources? to draw upon than the detective.
?But there’s nothing in the logline that explicitly confers that?resource on the serial killer as it does for the benefit of the?detective.
fwiw.
See lessAn abused-at-home teenager finds himself in a school for special people where a wicked over-authoritative nurse suppresses rebellion by slowly turning all teenagers into vegetables.
As far as I'm concerned, I think vegetables means apathetic, ?but it would be so much better if there would be a supernatural flavour. I d like the idea of kids turning into vegetables. Anyway, there must be some kind of goal for the main character.
As far as I’m concerned, I think vegetables means apathetic, ?but it would be so much better if there would be a supernatural flavour. I d like the idea of kids turning into vegetables. Anyway, there must be some kind of goal for the main character.
See lessAn abused-at-home teenagers finds himself in a school for special people and ends up rebelling against an evil authoritative figure to save himself and his friends.
I think there's an interesting story here, but suggest the logline needs to honed to clarify the teenagers ironic predicament.My reading of the situation is? an?abused teenager is?enrolled in a therapy program (which might include schooling)? ostensibly designed?to help him recover from domestic abuRead more
I think there’s an interesting story here, but suggest the logline needs to honed to clarify the teenagers ironic predicament.
My reading of the situation is? an?abused teenager is?enrolled in a therapy program (which might include schooling)? ostensibly designed?to help him recover from domestic abuse. Only to discover that he’s gone from the frying pan to the fire: the man in charge of the?therapy is worse than his old man (and/or woman) at home.? Now he must save himself because he can’t rely on anyone else to come to his rescue.
fwiw
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