1. Posted: March 6, 2016In:

    When intruders break into her home, the ghost of a paraplegic must save her unsuspecting husband from the intruders’ sinister plan that involves planting venomous snakes in the husband’s closet.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    Per FFF: >>>And no idea of what kind of interactions a ghost can have with the intruders. Neither do I. If the ghost has any capacity to? interact with the material world, why doesn't she?deal with the snakes herself?? Or the intruders?? End of problem. If she doesn't have the capacity, theRead more

    Per FFF:
    >>>And no idea of what kind of interactions a ghost can have with the intruders.

    Neither do I. If the ghost has any capacity to? interact with the material world, why doesn’t she?deal with the snakes herself?? Or the intruders?? End of problem.

    If she doesn’t have the capacity, then how can she possibly save her husband?

    What are the rules of engagement?

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: March 4, 2016In:

    The hunt for a spy takes a twist when an innocent bystander in a public park is mistaken for a government agent. (short film)

    kbfilmworks Samurai

    Thanks, guys. I think 'everybody mistakes everybody else' hits the nail on the head. Revised Logline: In a game of kill or be killed, an innocent bystander is mistakenly identified as an enemy agent by a spy who is himself desperate to evade identification.

    Thanks, guys. I think ‘everybody mistakes everybody else’ hits the nail on the head.

    Revised Logline: In a game of kill or be killed, an innocent bystander is mistakenly identified as an enemy agent by a spy who is himself desperate to evade identification.

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: March 7, 2016In:

    A suicidal teen gets abducted from her boring life and is forced to compete in the ninetieth Trials, a coldhearted AI?s quest to build an elite army disguised as a three-staged competition for entertainment.

    dpg Singularity

    Why not make it seduction instead of abduction?The kid is enticed into a contest that promises fabulous rewards? -fame, fortune, etc. ? Ergo, the teen would have a strong, positive emotion to play the game.?(This?revision?is still all stick no carrot.? The "Hunger Games" -- to which your?concept?wilRead more

    Why not make it seduction instead of abduction?

    The kid is enticed into a contest that promises fabulous rewards? -fame, fortune, etc. ? Ergo, the teen would have a strong, positive emotion to play the game.?

    (This?revision?is still all stick no carrot.? The “Hunger Games” — to which your?concept?will inevitably be compared to — ?offered a stick and a carrot.? I think you need to give your?character hope — a false hope — ?but at?least an initial?positive motivation to participate.)

    And then the teen finds out when it’s too late to back out that she? (and others) have been?suckered into an AI conspiracy.

    She can still be suicidal, btw.

    See less
    • 0