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  1. Posted: November 18, 2015In: Thriller

    A young homicide detective is obsessive about her first case upon finding evidence identical to her mother?s murder fifteen years earlier – until the killer strikes at her.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 19, 2015 at 7:46 am

    A mystery turns into a nightmare when a rookie detective realizes a murder case matches the murder of her mother 15 years ago. (25 words) Or with the plot twist: A mystery turns into a nightmare when a rookie detective realizes a murder case matches the murder of her mother 15 years ago -- and the kRead more

    A mystery turns into a nightmare when a rookie detective realizes a murder case matches the murder of her mother 15 years ago.
    (25 words)

    Or with the plot twist:

    A mystery turns into a nightmare when a rookie detective realizes a murder case matches the murder of her mother 15 years ago — and the killer is stalking her.
    (32 words)

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  2. Posted: November 17, 2015In: Thriller

    After a terror attack, the highly decorated FBI lead investigator finds his only son was the mastermind. He must choose between giving up his son or protecting him

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on November 17, 2015 at 10:56 am

    The main character's dilemma is interesting, but should be understood from the plot instead of being literally spelled out. For example: After a decorated FBI agent discovers his son masterminded a terror attack, he must stop his next planned attack at all costs.

    The main character’s dilemma is interesting, but should be understood from the plot instead of being literally spelled out.

    For example:
    After a decorated FBI agent discovers his son masterminded a terror attack, he must stop his next planned attack at all costs.

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  3. Posted: November 12, 2015In: Thriller

    After his wife commits adultery , a proud South African farmer feels ostracized by his community and forms a codependent relationship with a French anarchistic cult couple that eventually turn violent on him and his family, but his fight for survival comes at tragic cost and he is confronted by the depths of his shame.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 14, 2015 at 2:16 am

    As Nir Shelter said: ?the plot is thick and confusing. I'm still not clear on several elements and how they dramatically relate to each other. ?Did?the farmer get involved in the cult through the influence of the French couple? ?Or was its just a defining characteristic of the couple that they membeRead more

    As Nir Shelter said: ?the plot is thick and confusing. I’m still not clear on several elements and how they dramatically relate to each other. ?Did?the farmer get involved in the cult through the influence of the French couple? ?Or was its just a defining characteristic of the couple that they members of a cult? ?Covert members — he didn’t know they were true believers until it was too late?

    Stripped down to its essence, what is the story about? ?In 25 words or less — forget about a well-formed logline for now– what is the nucleus of the concept around which the entire story–all the characters, all the elements–revolve?

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