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A timid taxi driver must foil a contract killer’s plan to kill five people in one night after being forced to transport him around L.A.
Paul Clarke:You raised an interesting point.? Yes, it's a great twist for Max, the taxi driver, to discover that Annie, the attorney he flirted with, is on the hit list.But...With one exception, the general rule is that the logline focuses on events up to the transition into Act 2.? That is, the eveRead more
Paul Clarke:
You raised an interesting point.? Yes, it’s a great twist for Max, the taxi driver, to discover that Annie, the attorney he flirted with, is on the hit list.
But…
With one exception, the general rule is that the logline focuses on events up to the transition into Act 2.? That is, the events that can quickly hook an audience’s interest.? In this age of multitasking minds, when people have so many options for entertainment so many distractions, I think it’s accurate to say that it’s more imperative than ever that a film quickly grab and hold attention.? Before something else does.
The exception is that sometimes (space permitting) it’s good to include the MPR (Midpoint Reversal), when it entails? a cool twist that “sweetens” the initial hook.
However, Max doesn’t discover Annie is on the hit list until 94 minutes into the film.? That’s f-a-r too late to qualify as the MPR.? Indeed, the discovery can be said to be the inciting incident of the last act.
See lessWhen a man sets out to destroy the family that destroyed his, he ends up falling for the ingenue daughter.
Never start a logline with When. Start with the protagonist, then provide the antagonist, conflict, & stakes. Avoid commas. 25-30 words max, the shorter the better. No vague notions -- be specific about who the characters are and what they want/need to do. Try not to repeat words, such as "destrRead more
Never start a logline with When. Start with the protagonist, then provide the antagonist, conflict, & stakes. Avoid commas. 25-30 words max, the shorter the better. No vague notions — be specific about who the characters are and what they want/need to do.
Try not to repeat words, such as “destroy.” Not only is it already unclear what this means or what it involves, but the redundant use makes the entire storyline more vague. Also unclear: saying he falls for “the” daughter…of the other family? Why? How? Why is this a problem? What was the problem in the first place?
A logline shouldn’t force questions just to comprehend the story. It should make people interested in reading more.
See lessUnable to come to terms with her stillbirth, a desperate doula fakes a pregnancy and kidnaps an expectant be mother to steal her baby. Can she kill her or let her go, risking everything.
I second what dpg suggests. Flipping the roles of the prot- and the antagonist creates enoughempathy to follow the chilling story. Making the pregnant woman an illegal immigrant puts her in even more jeopardy and pressure (even before the psychokiller arrives). Plus, it can create an extra level ifRead more
I second what dpg suggests. Flipping the roles of the prot- and the antagonist creates enoughempathy to follow the chilling story. Making the pregnant woman an illegal immigrant puts her in even more jeopardy and pressure (even before the psychokiller arrives). Plus, it can create an extra level if social commentary.
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