Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A god-fearing headmistress explores ungodly means to help an underage student cut off from his toxic parents.
With all due respect to 'big reveals', most decision makers are not going to sit back in awe after reading a logline and let an amazing big reveal/twist settle in - they'll more likely give your logline a cursory glance and move on. Therefore, you're better off structuring the logline to fit the widRead more
With all due respect to ‘big reveals’, most decision makers are not going to sit back in awe after reading a logline and let an amazing big reveal/twist settle in – they’ll more likely give your logline a cursory glance and move on.
Therefore, you’re better off structuring the logline to fit the widely accepted formula of; event, main character, flaw and goal. This means, the better way to structure this logline would be to describe at the start what the toxic parents are doing in one single significant event that motivates the main character to take action.
See lessA boarding school with an all-women faculty is rocked with the suicide of a student, whose parents are undergoing a messy public divorce, on the eve of its 30th anniversary. Thereby, leaving the headmistress in the crosshairs of his parents, the authorities, the press and her own conscience.
What's the suicide got to do with the headmistress? The school wasn't responsible for the suicide and doesn't seem to be at fault - based on this logline at least. It might be worth specifying that the suicide happened on school property as that will at least bring the headmistress into play. Why isRead more
What’s the suicide got to do with the headmistress? The school wasn’t responsible for the suicide and doesn’t seem to be at fault – based on this logline at least. It might be worth specifying that the suicide happened on school property as that will at least bring the headmistress into play.
Why is the fact the school has an all-female faculty relevant to the story? Or that the school is about to have its 30th anniversary? If the story is about how the school deals with the suicide of a student then, in the logline at least, the reason for the suicide is somewhat redundant.
I think the idea of how a student suicide might affect the students and faculty at any school is an idea worth exploring but it’s worth checking the “Our formula” page for help with formatting.
You have a good inciting incident but I’m not sure that the headmistress’s goals are at present. This logline is basically just one long setup. What happens next?
Give us more information about this headmistress. What’s going to be her arc for the story? Give the reader some clue how she will deal with this conflict.
Hope this helps.
See lessWhen a man whose jobs is to take on identities suffers a malfunction with his new one, the man struggles with his identity vs the identity is suppose to be under, which could reveal the status and whereabouts of a new complicated nuclear sub.
A man is implanted with the memories of a person that can identify the location of a submarine but he is now swapping between his own and the implanted memories causing an identity crisis and endangering the mission. Very wordy. ?I?ll get back after some more work.
A man is implanted with the memories of a person that can identify the location of a submarine but he is now swapping between his own and the implanted memories causing an identity crisis and endangering the mission.
Very wordy. ?I?ll get back after some more work.
See less