1. Posted: April 7, 2018In:

    When a grieving Matt returns back from his travels, he must find a way to shut up the blackmailer that is threatening to reveal his shocking secret to the love of his life; his dead brothers widow.

    variable Uberwriter

    When audience is quite open to his marrying the widow (since I am) you risk writing an antagonist instead with his current goal (to find a way to silence the blackmailer....why not go to the cops?)It would be a shocking secret if he had a hand in his brother's death (then again, not what a protagoniRead more

    When audience is quite open to his marrying the widow (since I am) you risk writing an antagonist instead with his current goal (to find a way to silence the blackmailer….why not go to the cops?)

    It would be a shocking secret if he had a hand in his brother’s death (then again, not what a protagonist would do)

    Drop the name for word economy.

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  2. Posted: April 5, 2018In:

    A pacifistic NYPD cadet and a loner detective investigate the source of a new street drug, leading them to a notorious dealer; but they’re just a pawn, and someone much more powerful runs the operation.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    You need to give the reader more details than are currently in the logline. What makes this duo's mission interesting? What is the major obstacle standing in their way? Right now this concept lacks unique elements needed to separate it from most police procedural fare on TV.

    You need to give the reader more details than are currently in the logline. What makes this duo’s mission interesting? What is the major obstacle standing in their way? Right now this concept lacks unique elements needed to separate it from most police procedural fare on TV.

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  3. Posted: April 5, 2018In:

    A paraplegic woman, with no memory what happened, investigates her own past and collides with a nocturnal vigilante who may hold the answers.

    dpg Singularity

    Agree with Nir Shelter.? A logline is a blatant sales pitch,? not a teaser,; it's no place to hide or merely imply a key story element.? Logline readers? are industry deal makers who want to know in no uncertain terms what the story is about. Which is another way of saying they want to know exactlyRead more

    Agree with Nir Shelter.? A logline is a blatant sales pitch,? not a teaser,; it’s no place to hide or merely imply a key story element.? Logline readers? are industry deal makers who want to know in no uncertain terms what the story is about. Which is another way of saying they want to know exactly what objective goal the protagonist is pursuing.

    What is her objective goal in searching her past?? What is the dramatic problem she MUST solve?

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